What I would have tweeted had I not been in class all day.

It is too early for pompous douche bag professors.

Seriously, you can't get your writing over an 8th grade level? You graduated from high school, right?

Lithium. Does anyone have Lithium? We need to medicate this crazy ass bitch who keeps calling Alex Tracy.

HAHAHA AIDS carrot. A carrot that gives you aids. Funny shit. I mean, not funny. AIDS is not funny. Right.

I need a new team in kitchen. Because, seriously, I think these two just have crickets chirping in their heads.

STOP STARING AT ME AND DO SOMETHING. Why am I in charge? WHY? Tell those crickets to get their shit together.

Dude, I don't know if your sauce is the right thickness, needs more salt, parsley, whatever. It is my first time making it too.

Do you ever stop talking? For real, stop talking. Right now. Stop it.

I need to find Tini. He is my sanity today. WHERE THE FUCK DID TINI GO?

Tini is back, crisis averted.

Are you really making your sauce in a double boiler? I mean, really? The crickets just failed you.

Damn it, your cream spinach turned out better than mine. Maybe I need to try this double boiler thing...

OMG THIS KITCHEN IS FILTHY. Do these kids not understand the concept of cleaning up after yourself? Feeling stabby...

Stab. Stab. Stab. Stab. Stab.

I would like to just eliminate this entire generation. Seriously, it may be worth it. Wait, am I in their generation? How do generations work?

I am going to assume I am not and go ahead with the eradication of everyone 18 - 20. Except the ones I like. Which is like, 2.

Stop bitching. You are sous chef, it is your job to yell at people. Get over it. But don't yell at me. I will stab you. In the face.

I honked at you because you drive a stupid car and I am crabby. Buy a lime green Volkswagen Beetle with a lei hanging from the rear view mirror, I honk at you.

I am now going to crawl into bed with my dogs and hope when I wake up I have faith in humanity once again.