Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Has anyone ever licked gin off of YOUR coffee table? Ha! I win!

This weekend, I got together with some friends from school. We cooked one of the sauces on our practical exam today and had a few drinks.

I should amend that. We had A LOT of drinks. I would tell the whole story, but there is a reason we were ALL drunk...so that the very worst things we did would be forgotten in that alcohol haze. Or at least we would all be equally embarrassed and therefore equally inclined not to ever speak of it again. One of the underage very conservative girls from class wanted to come next time and we refused to allow it because she would be sober and therefore remember everything that happened.

So, I will summarize the evenings in a few key highlights to protect the innocent.

It took Tini an hour to prep 3 heads of lettuce. Also? He prepped 3 heads of lettuce for 4 people. I think he scrubbed each individual piece of lettuce with a very tiny toothbrush.

It took 3 chef apprentice's 3 hours to make a roast (which we, mostly me, overcooked), mashed potatoes, a salad, and a Chasseur sauce. We fail at life.

It looked like some sort of culinary tornado hit my kitchen and I am pissed I did not take pictures. The dishwasher was completely full and the sink was still stacked over the rim with dishes for the next load. It is quite possible we used every dish in my house.

Tini pulled the bottom of his shirt through the top of his shirt making a bra-like top. I have googled for an hour and cannot find a picture of this, so I hope you all know what I am talking about.

He then licked gin off of my coffee table.

We all woke up the next morning and stared at each other and mumbled something about our heads hurting and wanted to die. No one can be sure because nothing could be heard over the pain.

Oh, and Tini made cookies. This is the event that I find the hardest to explain.

It was a fun night. No, it was an awesome night. However, I am not 21 anymore. So, after a night at work where everyone steered clear of me and asked me if I was OK a zillion times I crashed and slept for 13 hours. I finally feel like a human being again. Sort of.

Final Count:

1/2 a bottle of gin
1 bottle of wine
a case of beer

Three people. Why do I feel like over half of my readers are talking to intervention about me RIGHT THIS SECOND?


Krackle said...

I am impressed. That is all I have. Carry on.

Bradshaw said...

No intervention. Just love.

whimsy said...

I forgot about the bra thing...awesome. Damn straight I licked gin off of your coffee table, it was delicious, then I broke my face. I also gnawed on your table, delicious as well. Possibly the best night ever.