Who freaks out for no reason? Me? No. Never.

I have written a post a day for the past few days and have published none of them. Sometimes I get in these slumps where everything that shows up on the screen sounds like utter bullshit. Do other bloggers do this? Or am I alone? I have so many drafts saved, it easily out numbers the things I have posted. I have heard bloggers say, oh, this post took me three days to write. That doesn't happen for me either. I write it, I proof read, tweak, and post. If I let something sit and ruminate, I will end up not posting it for the 7000 reasons that it totally sucks.

I think I am too hard on myself. I know, all of you are just SHOCKED by this information.

So, my third term at culinary school started yesterday and, can I just say, the real shit is starting. We have presentation times. Like, if your food is not sitting on this table, hot, at exactly 2:10, you get a zero. It's good. I like the fact that I am learning how to hold food on a line, it makes me feel all cheffy.

My new chef instructor HAS TO BE related to Gordon Ramsey, who I love. BUT I am not in a kitchen with Gordon Ramsey all day. She made me prove to her that I had tasting spoons on my person. I was baking chicken. Someone please explain to me how I was going to taste chicken with a spoon. However, I think she is going to break some very bad habits that I have and for that I am grateful. And terrified. Mostly terrified. At any moment I am expecting her to slap the back of my hand with a ruler and tell me I am a complete fuck up and to get out of her sight. OK, this probably won't happen. Probably.

I also have gotten consistently good grades on my food, even when it did not meet my expectations. I was beginning to think that the grading was going to be totally lax all the way through school and I would never really become the caliber chef I wanted to be. I actually just snickered when I typed that. Boy was I wrong. People got some shitty ass grades today for things that would have been irrelevant in prior classes. I was one of two people to get a perfect score. And, honestly, that food was pretty fucking perfect. (Don't tell scary Chef, but I thought my chicken was undercooked. I was saved by the fact that I was the last one to be tasted and it finished cooking while resting.)

So, this college that I found to be kind of a joke in it's simplicity is starting to officially kick my ass. In a good way, in a way it needs to be kicked. But, I would go ahead and get ready those "Erratic, you are not going to fail out of school and live in a card board box peeing in a Taco Bell bathroom" comments ready. I foresee a few irrational freak outs in my future.

What I don't foresee is anymore 4.0 GPA's. Sigh.