Do you ever have a day that feels like the entire population has been replaced by morons? Like, you are in some kind of sitcom where everyone feels really bad for the main character who just keeps banging their head repeatedly on anything within her reach? And you are watching this sitcom thinking, holy fuck, I am glad that is not my life. Because if it was, holy fuck that would be awful.
I don't think any such sitcom exists. It was really all I had. Seriously, people, morons. They are coming out of the woodwork and finding me. It's like they don't even know I am liable to scream obscenities randomly at them.
BUT! It is OK. It is all just fine, because this happened:
However, now I feel pressured to be all witty and awesome. Because she is all witty and awesome. And she finds the funniest shit on the Internet and has pretty much formed my entire vocabulary. DOUCHE CANOE. I mean, seriously.
On a totally unrelated note, the James Beard Finalists were announced today. This is my Academy Awards People. I sat and read through the list of names. Of restaurants. Most of them I had heard of, some of them I hadn't. I have no desire to be on TV or to be a celebrity chef. I don't really care if people recognize me. But, a James Beard Award? Holy fuck, I want one. It is probably premature to aspire for this while still in culinary school, but I don't care. I want one. And that list? Hubert Keller is probably one of my favorite chef's of all time. Anthony Bourdain (who was robbed and should have been on this list over fucking Andrew Zimmern.) Ina Garten, Alton Brown, Rick Bayless, Todd English, Tom Colicchio...Let's just say that to be in this room would be my dream. It would be the perfect day in a perfect world and I would just die. I just had some sort of foodie/chef/giant tool moment. My bad. Please continue with your regularly scheduled reading of less tool-like things.
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