Thursday, March 25, 2010

Is everything creepy today? Or is it just my life?

When I first started my job, the dishwasher gave me his number. He then went into the manager's office and got my number from the employee phone list and texted me, often. I barely responded and eventually managed to slip in that I had a boyfriend and that was the end of the situation. He seemed nice enough, I thought nothing of it.

I have come to realize that this dude is the weirdest mother fucker I have ever met. He has these really bushy eyebrows and he combs them straight up. I always thought that this was because they were large and in charge, but turns out that it is his "signature" look. He looks like this:
I never told anyone about the weird texting because there is nothing worse than being that guy that asks someone out, gets rejected, and then everyone finds out. OK, I don't actually know what this is like because I don't shit where I sleep, but still. It probably sucks. So, I said nothing and went on humoring him when he told me weird things. Like, he takes his mini van out and purposefully spins out in church parking lots. And that he lives in his mother's basement. And he keeps asking me if I am on Facebook (I always tell him no. LIES!) and on Yahoo. Anyone know what he means by "are you on Yahoo?" I don't so much. I always say no, because if he explains it will mean I have to talk to him forever. And, ew.

So, today, one of the newer (SEVENTEEN YEAR OLD) girls told me he asked her out and asked me how old he was. I said 28 and then said, OMG, the same thing happened to me! So, we shared creepy stories and it seems he does the same thing with every single person that works there with boobs and a pulse. He wasn't there tonight, but I kind of want to shower thinking of all the times I thought he was a little pathetic and humored him because everyone needs someone to be nice to them. OMG I NEED LIKE 10 SHOWERS. Ew. Just, ew.

I also found out the other day that one of the gay guys at work I considered "one of the girls" is in fact a 40 year old single guy who I have had MANY inappropriate conversations. Today, while getting an ice dish from a shelf in front of me, he said watch out for your front parts. Then chuckled in a very "I will see you outside your window tonight" kind of way. And he touches me a lot. Like, a lot. I mean, he doesn't grab my cooter or anything, but is always touching me on the arm or back.

OK, I just reread that and it sounds like I work at pedophiles R Us. It's really not that bad, they are just creepy. And while most of you work in an office where they can't get away with saying whatever they want, this is a kitchen. Totally different can of beans. Did I just say that? OMG. I am becoming a creepy old lady with cheesy catch phrases.

Hold me.


Bradshaw said...

Ha, totally different can of beans. I like it.

They do sound creepy. If you're not around for a few days, I'll send a search party out.

Anonymous said...

Glad to see you're getting better at those lovely pictures.