Sunday, November 7, 2010

Someone you need to let go.

All right...I am just skipping this one. I have answered it, for the most part, in the last two posts. 

However, I want to talk about something else. I need all of your advice. Everything that has happened with my sister in the past year started last Thanksgiving when she had two diabetic seizures in my house. That is why I was so paranoid when she was vomiting at her bachelorette party, which led to the horrible things she said to me, which led to her throwing me out of her wedding, which led to all of the hurt and heart break that has come over this past year. If you need background, go here. I went to the wedding and I smiled and I supported her and gave a bad ass maid of honor speech. I did everything I was supposed to. 

I have gotten no apologies and this isn't the first time this has happened. This is a lifetime of her treating people like shit and everyone just taking it because she is sick and has had a hard life. It is her calling only when she needs me and never being there when I need her. It is getting so excited to get a voicemail from her only for it to be a half-assed birthday wish followed by never returning my call. I have not spoken to her or had any contact with her since May.

I called my mother today to say hi and catch up. She mentioned that my sister was planning on coming to Ohio for Thanksgiving. I had no idea. I called my dad and asked, who confirmed that was the case. He then asked if she could stay with me. I discussed it with the boy, who adamantly said no after everything that has happened this year, and decided it would be better if she didn't. When I told my father this, he was pissed because it was going to cause drama (she always stayed with me in the past) and he already had enough family drama going on. He understood and said he would take care of it, but rushed me off the phone with barely a good bye.

So, am I being selfish? Am I the ass hole here? I feel like an ass hole. But, I know how this ends. It ends with me bending over backwards to make her comfortable while her dog shits in my house and she trashes my guest room and is ungrateful and mean the whole time. She will snap at everyone around her and make us all feel like shit. I will be in tears at least once. But, my dad has enough stress. So, do I sacrifice myself so that he has a better Thanksgiving weekend? Do I sacrifice the sanity of my home to help the sanity of his? 

My cousin and her husband are staying here with their dog. Is it fucked up to say she is welcome when my own sister isn't? Not in my home, not really in my life. At least not more than superficially. It isn't about love, I love my sister more than myself. But, I don't really like her. And she hurt me, profoundly. I don't hold grudges, this isn't about forgiveness. It is about self preservation. 

Is it selfish to choose me?


Big Jed said...

Please choose you. For once. Everyone else can live the life they want to live and so can you. And if that means cutting out that negative part that happens to be your sister, then I fully support it. You can't choose how she decides to act and how your family decides to react. But you can choose yourself. I've said it before, and I'll say it again..... We're not related by blood, but you ARE my sister.

Krackle said...

Okay...this is tuff for me. What do I think you should do? I think you should choose you. I think you should put your foot down and be a little selfish (in a good way) and not enable her behavoir anymore. Now...with that said...if I were you, what would I do? I would probably allow her to stay for my Dad more then anything else. BUT....when reading this, keep in mind I am a giant pussy. ESPECIALLY when it comes to family. Big Jed can confirm. So...I am going to go out on a limb here and say my comment did no help at all. Go Krackle.