Thursday, November 4, 2010

Someone I didn't want to let go or just drifted.

This one is easy for me. Probably the easiest of these I have posted. While I have a very different view of love than most people, it does not mean I love any less. And I love my sister, I really do. But, I also know her. I know who she is and I know that who she is will never care to have me in her life in any real way. Yes, she will hug me at Christmas and pretend like everything that happened with her wedding didn't hurt me. But, she won't call me back or return my emails. She won't come visit me just because she misses me and she won't be there for me when I need her to be.

I didn't want to admit this to myself, to come to terms with the fact that she will never be the sister I want her to be. I can't change her and I know this. Every single day I miss her and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. 

I still wish every single day that it was different. 


Josey said...

This makes me sad. :(

Erratic said...

It made me sad for a very long time too. Sometimes I think it is even worse that I just accept it now.