The whole story...feel free to skip this, because holy fuck, emotion.

I am emotionally drained and I have decided to tell the story of what happened at my sister's bachelorette party. I may regret it later and pull the post, but for now, I am telling the story.

The night started off awesome. Covered in penis paraphernalia we went out for Sushi and then bar hopping in downtown St. Louis. About midnight, I became extremely aware of how drunk my sister was. Now, here is a little background on the situation, at least that I have blogged about. Over the last two years, the following things have happened.

1. She didn't realize she was low (I suspected it and was told she was fine) and while driving from her apartment to my mom's house, she went too low and crashed her car into a median. The cops thought she was drunk (diabetics often slur their words and have an alcohol-like smell on their breath when low) and only released her when we arrived on the scene and explained the situation. Her blood glucose was around 40.

2. I was on the phone with her and she passed out. Turns out you can't call 911 from Ohio and have it work in Edwardsville, IL. It took me almost a half an hour to get to someone who could help. I have never felt so helpless in my entire life. The paramedics broke down the door. Her blood glucose was around 20.

3. The incident at Thanksgiving.

These are the incidents that I am aware of...I see her, maybe, twice a year. I know that her fiance has called 911 multiple times, but she never tells the family about those situations, so I am not really sure what happened.

Those of you that do not understand diabetes, your blood glucose should be about 120. Over 200 is considered high. Under 80 is considered low. Most diabetics are unconscious and in a diabetic coma at about 50. My sister has always been able to go extremely low and be conscious.

So, I went into the bathroom and found her leaning against the wall, her eyes rolling around. These are symptoms of someone being extremely drunk, but they are also symptoms of an insulin reaction/ low blood glucose. I insisted we test her blood sugar. I couldn't get the machine to work right and she was being anything but helpful. She started getting pissed at me because I was "being paranoid" and "overreacting" so I left the bathroom. I went to the bar and got a drink.

Her friends came out a few minutes later and said that the machine continued to say that her blood glucose was 78, but that they thought that was her last reading and, oh, by the way, she threw up everywhere. She then started to throw up all over the bar. They took her outside and I sat at the bar and finished my drink. I walked outside and she was still throwing up. Her friends insisted that it was because they kept making her drink water.

I didn't know what to do. I was drunk. I was in no condition to be in charge of her medical health. And, frankly, I was pretty pissed off for being put in this position. I talked it over with one of her friends, who we will call Jane. Jane said that Kristen did this all the time and that she thought she would be fine, but it was up to me whether or not we called 911. I didn't know what to do and had started crying, knowing she would hate me if I called. I calmed down and weighed the information. The only reading we had was 78. She was throwing up. She hasn't eaten in 5 hours.

I dialed 911 and handed my phone to Jane. Then I bawled like a freaking baby because I knew she would never forgive me for this. I just couldn't risk her life. I couldn't.

The ambulance arrived and I stood outside the door waiting. They came out and told me her blood sugar was 385 (or around there...this is kind of foggy) and what did I think we should do. I told them I was drunk and I just didn't know, but that if she was high, everything was OK, right? The paramedic basically turned to his partner and said "the responsible party is too intoxicated to speak on the patients behalf. I am calling the hospital." He called the hospital and they required that she come in. The paramedic asked me to step into the ambulance and ride with them.

I got into the back and she started screaming at me. She said some horrible, horrible hurtful things that I am not going to repeat here. Mostly because I don't think I have the strength to type them. The paramedics said it would be best if I sat in the front of the ambulance. She continued to tell the other paramedic how much she hated me the whole way there.

We got to the hospital and I went into the lobby and waited for her. She started screaming that she wanted her purse. I walked over to tell her that my cousin had it and she just yelled fuck you to me over and over. The hospital personnel asked me to step outside.

I called my mom and they said they were on their way. My mom went in and she said some equally awful things to her. All she wanted was her fiance. He finally showed up and I waited in the car with my mom's husband until all was resolved, about 5:30 am. My mom walked out of the hospital and told me that my sister was furious at me and all of her friends. The diagnosis was extreme intoxication and the doctor ripped her a new one about drinking like this with diabetes.

Last week, my dad called my sister and talked to her. She didn't remember any of this. My dad recounted the few points I had told him about and she appeared to be stunned, but said her friends insisted that I just freaked out and called 911 when it wasn't necessary. My mom talked to her last night, when she called my mom to apologize. She said that my mom didn't know the whole story and that I was lying. When my mom expressed that I didn't feel welcome at her wedding, my sister said nothing.

At this point, I don't know if I am going to go. I really don't.

She claims that I abandoned her, because she doesn't remember screaming at me and never saw me again. Even though I stood outside the emergency room the whole time, watching her to make sure she was OK. I even went inside a second time and she started yelling at me, so I went back outside. Admittedly, I also had to pee. But, still.

I will admit I overreacted. I did. She would have been fine had I not called 911. But, I had no way of knowing that. And I didn't know what else to do because I was not sober enough to feel comfortable making that decision. And all of her friends just blew it off like it wasn't a big deal.

I go back and forth between feeling like I ruined her bachelorette party and being furious with her for putting me in that situation. And I don't know how to forgive her for the things she said.

Hell, I don't even know if I am welcome at her wedding. If my sister is anything, she is stubborn and she is always right. And she may never forgive me for this, but she is alive. I guess that is something to hold on to.

UPDATE: Her friend just sent me a message on Facebook...and I quote..."hey, while you're posting all these pics of your dogs, you should post some from the bach party. i want to see. apparently we only have so many days to access the evite after the event. stupid."

I am officially surrounded by ass holes.