Cleaning Day

Grandma: I am going to clean today, but I can't find any rags.

Erratic: They are in the blue basket in the basement. That is all rags.

Grandma: I looked there, all I found was this old stained towel.

Erratic: That is a rag.

Grandma: Oh.

**Approximately 15 minutes passes, I am watching Chuck and paying no attention to her.**

Erratic: Where did all the pictures on my mantle go?

Grandma: They wouldn't fit.

Erratic: Where are they?

Grandma: I don't know.

Erratic: Well, you had to put them somewhere.

Grandma: I put most of them in the bathroom.

Erratic: Why would I want my pictures in the bathroom?

Grandma: Because they wouldn't fit on the mantle.

Erratic: OK, you win.

**I again, zone out on the television and am paying no attention.**

Erratic: Why are all my pictures on the end table?

Grandma: You sounded upset about them being the bathroom.

Erratic: Well, now they are just stacked on the end table. I can't see them.

Grandma: Well, you can rotate them. You really have too many pictures.

Erratic: OK, you win.

**Another 15 or so minutes have passed**

Grandma: This dusting spray you have is worthless.

Erratic: All my cleaning supplies are animal friendly. They aren't quite as good as the regular stuff, but they are safe for kids, people, and animals.

Grandma: Oh, well, that is nice of you. Why do your dogs shed so much?

Erratic: Because it is spring. It is shedding season and I haven't been able to brush them.

Grandma: Do you think I could just run the vacuum over them?

Erratic: (stunned face, no response)

Grandma: I mean, lightly. I wouldn't hurt them. I'd use the hose.

Erratic: I don't think that is such a good idea.

Grandma: Well, somebody needs to vacuum them, because the shedding is out of hand.

Erratic: I will have the boy brush them tonight.

Grandma: Well, that is fine, but tell him not to leave the hair all over the floor.

Erratic: Do you think that is what I do, is brush them and throw their hair in the floor?

Grandma: Well, I just can't think of any other explanation for all this hair. How much water have you had today?

Erratic: I don't know, I haven't been counting.

Grandma: Well, if you aren't going to drink tomato juice, you should at least be drinking water.