The Banning of the Plants

Today, the company I work for banned plants in the office. I am not going to go into how I feel about this, because, well, we have all read dooce. But, I will tell the story of what happened afterwards. This is a recreation of a conversation between myself and Mrs. Williams. (hey - Williams is generic. You google Williams and see how many come up.) We are going to shorten it to MW because I am lazy and it is Friday.

MW: I wonder if we are allowed to have pictures of plants?

Erratic: I don't see why not.

MW: We should google "plants" and print out a bunch of images and put them all over the building.

Erratic: Like randomly just take company approved ticky tacky and just start putting them places?

MW: Totally. We could put them on the wall and door outside of our bosses office when he is not looking.

Erratic: And we totally have to pretend like we don't know who it is. OMG! We should take pictures of the plants that are in here now and start posting them everywhere after they take all the plants away

MW: OMG. We have to do this. I have my camera.

-Interlude while we go take pictures of the plants. Keep in mind, my back is acting up again, so I am walking around like a 90 year old woman who has never had calcium. Ever. We are stealth.-

MW: We can't tell anyone.

Erratic: Agreed. Do you think we can get fired for this?

MW: No. No way. OK, we have to tell Hannah Montana (now HM)

Erratic: We totally have to tell her.

MW: HM says we should start sending people flowers once the ban is in place.

Erratic: That is EVEN BETTER.

MW: I think we should post the pictures of the plants first, and then start sending flowers, so they will get what the flowers are for.

Erratic: And we can do it all anonymously and pay in cash and shit.

MW: But, do you think they will get it?

Erratic: We'll put something on the card so they do. Like "you banned plants. ha ha. we win."

MW: THAT will get you fired.

Erratic: True. What about "Here is something live for your office, because our souls are now dead?"

The best part of this entire story, is that there were two people watching this take place, while MW and I were laughing hysterically in our separate cubes, tears running down our face, asking us over and over "what is so funny." To which I replied, every time, "we are plotting evil things."

We really might do this. And if we do, loyal readers, you will be the first to know.

P.S. It is possible this was only funny to me. If so, I apologize for the 2 minutes of your life I just stole. I owe you one.

P.P.S. Come on, it was a little bit funny, right? I mean, picture me trying to sneak around, waddling like a duck and bent almost completely in half. Laugh. It's funny.

P.P.P.S. (is that even how you do that) None of you are laughing, are you. sigh Fine. No more "you had to be there" stories.

P.P.P.P.S. The P.S. thing is out of control. Also, it was funny.