Sweep This

Two posts in one day. I rock. Word.

So, due to the lameness of both my back and life, I am home on a Friday night, watching Wife Swap. I deplore this show, but reality TV is like a drug to me. I must watch the entire world unravel in front of me, via ABC. This isn't a new episode, because, you know, it's Friday night and most people are out realizing the world is bigger than their living room.

The first family "sweeps." I know, right? What is sweeping? They literally spend 8 - 10 hours a day entering in sweepstakes. Then every Sunday they go around and pick up empty bottles that people have discarded in the hopes they win...another bottle? And they go to "sweep" meetings where they tell everyone what they won. And it's things like...an exercise ball. These people buy cat products because there are sweepstakes, and do not even own a cat.

What. The. Hell.

Who knew that this was going on? I mean, I barely even turn in rebates, not to mention spending my entire day entering sweepstakes. And the kids are like little slave drones. I swear, at one point, the daughter looked into the camera, with pleading eyes that just said "save me from this hell."

The other family was awesome. They lived on Key West and partied. All the time. I mean, I see some downfalls...like, their kids are pretty much being raised by their grandparents. But, dude, their life is pretty sweet. So, what does crazy other mom do? Makes them pick up bottle caps and teaches them how to sweep.

Where do they find these people? I mean, seriously. Do these people exist around me, but I just can't see them? Like, product obsessed little wizards? Or do my friends do shit like this and hide it from me, because they know I will point and laugh at them?

Also, why is Devil Dog following me around the house and staring at me? Does he want to start sweeping? I have ensured all his basic needs were met. This day really needs to be over.