Change

Change is hard. And to list something I want to change about myself is even harder, because my instinct is always to say EVERY SINGLE THING. Not that I don't love who I am, but who doesn't see a bigger better version of themselves? I want to get better at balancing my life, I am never home, never see the boy. I need to figure out a way to have an awesome career and have time for him. But, that isn't even possible until I graduate from school. 

I want to work out every day. My job is a pretty big workout on it's own, but I want to do more. I forgot the feeling of that physical exertion and how good it feels. My lazy desk days are over and I don't want to go back.

Most of all, though, I want to not be scared to change. I spent so many years stagnant. I want to be able to make huge decisions and quit my job and go to culinary school and not have 412 panic attacks in the process. 

So, while change sucks, it is also exciting and I need to remember that it doesn't always have to suck.