10 things I learned this weekend.

1. I do not like Coors Light. What I do like? Free Coors Light. In fact, I love it.
2. I am too old to drink for 8 hours straight in the sun without getting a hangover that could wipe out civilization as we know it.
3. Stealing stranger's pizza is not nice. Also, it is embarrassing.
4. Do not believe rumors about "free" pizza when the person who told you passed out on the floor moments later.
5. Drunk early twenties guys fight a lot when they drink. Also, ass holes who are trying to break up the fight, shouldn't yell at the girl who is just trying to get by to pee.
6. I shouldn't make friends with total strangers every time I am drunk. Because I am pretty sure that I slurred roughly all of that conversation.
7. When taking a taxi home after 8 hours of drinking, when it is still light out, make sure the boy has his iPhone. Otherwise, there will be lots of drama.
8. When taking the boy home the next morning, after 8 hours of drinking and passing out at 8:30 pm, make sure you have a key to your house. Hangovers make people forgetful.
9. Remember when I was in the hospital 6 weeks ago? Right. I should probably not dance around like a fool because I am too drunk to feel pain. Remember that thing called tomorrow? Yeah. Tomorrow is going to suck.
10. Getting drunk in the name of cancer? Awesome.