Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Human Raft?

I was working for the same company that I do now, only I had just started. I wasn't very familiar with the area. I didn't have lunch with me and was going to run home and let out the dogs and grab some lunch. As I was leaving the building, it started pouring down rain. I ran to my car and started bitching about how I was wet. (that my friends, is foreshadowing)

I start driving the normal route home, only to realize that the street is flooded. So, I turn around and decide to take Broad Street to the highway. I turn right on Broad and the rain just keeps getting worse. I can hardly see. Then all of a sudden my car dies. In the middle of the road. I start to panic, when I see this conversion van sort of floating in the road. Huh. That is weird. I look out my window and see the water, about an inch above where the door and window meet.

Well, fuck. I start thinking of ways to get out of this, because, at this point, I am literally floating down the road. Then it occurs to me that I can climb out my sun roof. And what? Surf down Broad Street? This is not helping. I call my dad. Because, when floating down a road downtown, who would you call? He is no help, other than to tell me whatever I do, absolutely do not try to start my car.

All of a sudden I see two guys running out of Wendy's and waving their arms at me. I immediately think, well, fuck. What could they want? To save me! They started pushing my car out of the water and into the Wendy's parking lot. The water was above both of their waists. It was by far the nicest thing a stranger has ever done for me.

So, I get to the Wendy's and hero 1 and hero 2 tell me to give it a few minutes, that the engine will dry out and the car will start again. Okey dokey. So, I bought some food and sat down and ate lunch with them. Tried my car again. Nothing. Back in Wendy's to sit with hero 1 and hero 2.

Now, let me describe the scene for you. I am, quite literally, soaked through. My hair, my clothes, my shoes, everything I owned was completely soaked. It was freezing in Wendy's, so I am shivering and sitting and eating chicken nuggets with two guys with mullets and two teeth between them. I have everything in my purse laid out on the table because it had a puddle in it, which I am absorbing with napkins. And every time I get up and walk anywhere, I leave a trail of water.

So, I finally decide to call a tow truck. There was someone down the road who, shockingly, had just rescued a conversion van from the same street. They will be there in 15 minutes. Perfect. Oh, and they only accept cash. Um. Uh-Oh. So, I call my roommate at the time, Krackle, and ask her if she can meet me at the dealership with cash for the tow truck and I will pay her back. Sure she says. Call me when he gets there, she says.

Tow Truck gets there, I call Krackle. Now, I am riding in the tow truck with the driver. Who is by far the strangest human being I have ever met. I do not recall what he was talking about, but he talked incessantly. I vaguely remember something about pig farming and heavy metal. Let's just say I was sitting so close to the door, I was afraid I was going to push it open and fall out on the highway.

We get to the dealership and Krackle isn't there. And she isn't there. And she isn't there. About 30 minutes go by and I finally call her. She is still at work. She thought I was supposed to call her when I got there. She was a good 30 minutes away. And weird tow truck guy was getting impatient. So, I finally called my step mom and had her come pick me up. She took me back to their house, gave me some clothes, and some alcohol.

They were able to dry out the car for next to nothing and there was no damage. Except to my liver, because man did I drink a lot that night.

That day. That horrible, floating down Broad Street day was better than today. And yesterday. And most likely tomorrow. Can I trip over the dog again?

2 comments:

Big Jed said...

Wow. The fact that the day you were a raft is better than present day is frightening. But there is one thing that happened today that you should feel good about. And you know what that is. Oh, and the fact that Krackle is still Krackle and not some other nickname that she claims to have.

Gypsy said...

Now THAT was a bad day. And these are worse? Poor you. Poor, poor you.

If it makes you feel any better, my word verification is "penses." Is that like menses for men? Or is it just missing an "i"?