Monday, June 29, 2009

OMG! I live with a boy!

Dear Boy,

Last weekend you moved in with me. I know you think that at any moment I am going to lose my shit and stab you with a pen, but the truth is, this is really OK. It is better than OK. It is pretty great. And I know we still have a lot to work through, but we will.

However, you need to stop asking permission. Is it OK if I clean? Um. Fuck yes it is OK if you clean. In fact, I encourage it. Would you like more to clean? Because I am more than happy to make a mess for you to clean up.

Is it OK if I put my toothbrush in the bathroom? What about my electric shaver? YES. It is your house now too. Don't make me start fucking with you and saying you have to brush your teeth on the deck. Because I will do it.

I get that moving into someones space and routines is probably a little awkward, but you have to call me out on my shit. I'm like a toddler. I am totally testing my boundaries right now. Before you know it, I am going to start smoking cigarettes behind the barn at school and staying out past curfew.

And about the Mac versus PC war that is taking over the house...I like my Dell. You like your Mac. One is not better than the other - they are just different. Embrace this or prepare for me to stab you repeatedly with a pen. Ha! The fear is alive now, isn't it?

And, last, but not least, stop worrying about my crazy and start making this your home too.

I love you,


P.S. Hi Internet! Sorry about the lack of writing! It is all the boys fault. See how this works now? Awesome.


Krackle said...


George said...

ahh the dramedy that will ensue :-)
I think you should write it all down and sell it as a sitcom. But seriously it will be good. And we can all hang out at Sloopy's

Big Jed said...

That was the sweetest and most psychotic letter ever. It fits you so very well.

Brutalism said...

Congrats! And please make him brush his teeth on the deck. I like the visual.

Gypsy said...

Aw, the joys of cohabitation!