Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Things that are annoying me today

  1. Facebook. For the love of everything, your Facebook status is not the way to passively aggressively tell someone what you think. TELL. THEM. And I really don't care that the person you are intending this for is logging on under multiple Facebook accounts to comment on your shit. I. DON'T. CARE. Please continue your status updates about the weather and how awesome your kid is. That was much more tolerable.
  2. My hands. That I am still getting hives on. And my lack of health insurance so I can't go to an allergist to figure out WTF is wrong. Can I still cook with two stumps?
  3. Being judged for reading. I need to explain this. People often ask me what my hobbies are...well, I don't really have any. I read. A lot. Daily. For hours. I don't need anything else...so why do people always balk when I say my only hobby is reading? I do other things. It's just the only thing that I do on a regular basis that I love. Get over it. I have been this way since I was a little girl. I prefer the imaginary world of books to the real one. 
  4. My lack of friends to play Scramble with friends with. I am hooked. Addicted. Need an intervention. Someone take over my phone. OOH! I am adding that to my hobby list. Reading and iPhone games. I am a giant tool.
  5. My legs. I am trying to start running and my legs are SO TIGHT I can't really do it. All my muscles are like this...my back is like a rock. Always. I have to stretch it daily or I can't move. BUT there are a lot of stretches for legs that are bad for people with my kind of back injuries. I have been adding leg stretches to my routine, but holy crap. It's just not working. Can I tell you about stretching my groin muscle and having NO IDEA how good that could feel? Not in THAT way. Is it normal for muscles to be this tight? My dad is the same way. I blame genetics.
  6. Prop 8. Two people said it better than me, so I will just quote them. "The flip side of democracy is that the view of the majority cannot be used to oppress the minority. Ass Hats."  and "Prop 8 is ruled unconstitutional. Also, the sky is ruled blue; water is ruled wet." WE SHOULDN'T EVEN BE HAVING THIS CONVERSATION. See...their quotes are better.
  7. My cat trying to kill me. LOVE ME GOD DAMMIT. I am nice to him, I feed him, I provide him a lovely home, I give him cat nip and buy him ridiculous cat houses. I let him out on the deck to get fresh air. It is possible that I may force him to let me hug him. Or give him kisses. BUT I THROW THAT GOD DAMN MOUSE FOR HIM EVERY NIGHT. I love his independence, but I hate how I feel like I won the lottery every time he jumps on my lap. AND YES I WOULD LIKE SOME CHEESE WITH MY WHINE, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
  8. Not having all the information. Let's not say I am nosy. Let's say I am curious. Or love information. Or something that is not me being nosy. But, I hate when people give you 1/10th of the story. I respect people's privacy, but mother fucker, I want to know what is going on. I must know. It might be a sickness. TELL ME EVERYTHING. I think this is why I like blogs so much. Everything is just out there. I also think that this is why none of my close friends have boundaries.
  9. Physical boundaries...that is a whole other story. Can we put a table between us? Awesome? How about we just have 5 drinks and sit on opposite sides of something and chat. So...work. Yeah, they think it is HI-LARIOUS that I am uncomfortable with people being close to me. Or touching me. So, today's game was "I am not touching you" where in they followed me from room to room and circled around me, inches from me, chanting "I am not touching you." And then my boss poke me in the side and say "I TOUCHED HER" and everyone would laugh hysterically. Someone made the comment "I have never seen a person's face turn that red." Also, my safe word is gang rape. Because, apparently you need safe words at my work. I work in some sort of prison playground. Sometimes I wish you could all be there with me one day and see the hilarity/torture. It is always a fine line between laughter and sobbing.
  10. Valentines Day. I'M SORRY. I hate it. I hate Hallmark holidays. If you want a day to be romantic, then do it on a random Monday. That means so much more. But, my idea of romance is someone else cooking dinner, a bottle of wine, and cuddling while watching Harry Potter. Not flowers. Ugh. Not flowers. Not candy. I will, however, take the expensive dinner. Did I mention wine?


zeghsy grrl said...

I love other peoples' reaction to me laughing at your blog. Somewhere between, "Gee what's so funny?" and, "Let's walk away from the crazy lady." That makes me laugh harder every time. :D

Big Jed said...

You could start to play Scramble with random people. Just start typing in your friends names. That's what I did. If they're cool, they'll play along. And maybe cheat >:(