Tuesday, February 21, 2012

It wasn't because I cut off my finger this time!

I got a text message today around 2:00 pm. The boy needed to go to the emergency room. His boss dropped a magazine holder on his head from two stories up. They were carrying the magazines from the third to first floor and he dropped it in the stairwell. So, I drove the few miles from the restaurant to his work and took him to the emergency room.

This hospital is downtown. So, there is a little bit of everything coming into the ER. Homeless people, hookers, drug addicts, business professionals, people who live in the area. You get the point. It gave me a great opportunity to catch up on Scramble with Friends and Family Feud. Because I am addicted to cell phone games. 

During our TWO AND A HALF HOUR VISIT we witnessed the following:

  • One homeless man advising another homeless man to stop carrying a knife because mace was better. "You just spray his face man. Then you kick the shit outta him. I tell my girls this all the time. You don't need no knife."
  • A man who I believe to be a drug addict of some kind...I am not sure. But, he was wearing pajamas and begging us to use our phone. The boy didn't have service, so I just jumped on that band wagon and said I did not either. I didn't need my iPhone stolen at the ER. I realize that was kind of a dick move. I did it anyway. I would hesitate to let someone I know use my phone. Those fuckers are expensive.
  • A man coughing SO MUCH I resorted to hiding in my jacket. COVER. YOUR. MOUTH. DUDE.
  • The man then followed us back to the exam rooms. I started referring to him as patient zero.
  • While the boy went to get his CAT Scan, I went back out to the lobby where the guy, again, begged me to use my phone. He had NO idea that we had spoken earlier.
  • I got escorted to the boy's new room with a hooker. And a guy who said he only smoked crack "when he could get his hands on it." In response to the question "do you smoke tobacco?"
The boy is fine. He has a mild concussion, a wicked headache, and a boo boo from his tetanus shot. 

On the way back out to the parking garage, we were discussing what floor we were on. There was a woman in the elevator with us and I sort of chuckled and told her that we would be wandering around for an hour. The boy said, "All I know is that we parked in the g-spot." The woman lost it, I explained that he had a head wound and couldn't be held responsible for his actions. He continued to say, "What? Look, there is a G right there. The g-spot."

Maybe I should take him back and have the doctor take another look at the CAT Scan.

1 comment:

J.o.s.e.y said...

LMAO. Oh my gosh S, what a day, what a day. I just read this aloud to my husband I was laughing so hard. :)