Wednesday, February 8, 2012

There is no title that will make this post anything less than terrifying.

I have a confession to make. 

I kind of want to be a hipster. DON'T STOP READING. Let me explain.

I spend a lot of time immersed in the hipster life style, because restaurant people (specifically front of the house people) are generally hipster. Also, old job should have been called "Hipsters Eat Here Everyday" because, dear God. 

I don't necessarily want to talk like them. Or think everything I do is awesome because it is so not awesome. 

But, I love the clothes! The traditionally hipster clothes. I already wear Converse every single day. Wait, is that still a hipster thing? Or is it not because now it is cool? Is it even cool?

I am terrible at this.

But, I love the layers and the ironic T-Shirts. And the slouchy hats. And I want to sit in coffee shops and drink coffee and play on my iPhone. Wait...are iPhones still hipster? I should have done more research.

HOWEVER. I don't like hipsters. They are annoyingly superior. I am not like that. In fact, I am the opposite of that. I am riddled with self doubt. Mostly in my knowledge of hipsters.

This post is slowly derailing in a very epic, giant flames, black smoke, people taking video to upload to YouTube way.

I really just want the clothes. And the lifestyle. The boy and I are planning a big move to the city. What? Yes. The city. Downtown where we walk to work. Or one of us walks to work the other drives or takes the bus or rides their bike. We also need to acquire bikes.

Who is letting me type this right now? Seriously? It's like I thought the word hipster and said BLOG POST with absolutely nothing else. Oh, wait...I saw a picture of an outfit on Pinterest. You guys, you now know my method. I DON'T HAVE ONE.

I want to live in our perfect city house and cook amazing, local, organic food and walk to the grocery store and have a garden in my yard (PEOPLE HAVE THOSE, DID YOU KNOW?) and maybe get chickens (!!!) and have this perfect little homestead in the city. I want this oh so bad. 

And, yes, I envision myself much skinnier, wearing much cooler clothes and slouchy hats and Chuck Taylors and doing fabulous things like spending the day sipping coffee in the Book Loft  while pretending to care about Chaucer. Because, let's be honest. I read a lot, but it's mostly about wizards. And dragons. That probably isn't very hipster. 

I just googled what do hipsters read and this came up. I would be a TERRIBLE hipster. I think what I just realized is that I want to live in the city and dress like a bum and be perceived as cool. But, don't worry, I will shower.

I should really just delete this post. But, I googled. Which is more effort than I normally put into blogging. Wait? Is blogging a hipster thing?

Fuck. Who lets me have a blog? Someone should really put a stop to me.


Krackle said...

That may be one of the best posts yet. Next time you feel like you should delete a post don't. LMAO over here. Big Jed and I agree, Vintage Erratic right there.

Big Jed said...

All I can say is.... This is you in a blog post. Completely random and not thought out and.... oooh, shiny!!

Ann said...

I will love you even if you decide to go full hipster. Promise.