Sunday, October 30, 2011

The Dumb

I think I am slowly becoming stupid. I am not sure if I have finally killed all my brain cells or what is happening. I just know that the ole brain isn't what it used to be.

There is a family history of this. My grandmother is very much the way I am becoming. She is a brilliant artist and a very intelligent woman. But she is 112% right brained. She is always lost in her own head, never finishes her sentences, and has a tendency to create the world around her rather than just living in it as is. 

I am also very much like this. I noticed the sentence thing a few years ago. I will say things like "I really like balloons because" and then just never say why. I am onto another subject, in another world, something shiny has been spotted and my attention span is gone. Kaput. No more. Also, I hate balloons, so that was a terrible example.

People often say that reading my blog is like having a conversation with me. Except I get to proof read it and make sure it makes sense. So, those of you who don't know me in real life, imagine talking to me without editing capabilities. It can be odd. I am odd. 

I had a boyfriend when I was 17/18 that liked playing dungeon and dragons. I didn't really care for the game, but the story telling. Oh, the story telling. I would always be the story teller (I am sure there is an official name, I just don't know it) when we played and create these worlds, villages, adventures. It was my heaven. That relationship was filled with stupidity and immaturity, but I always look back fondly on staying up all night creating stories. My favorite character was a blacksmith named Sparky and he was hiding information for the King. Our characters desperately needed this information in order to set my sister free. Sparky would accidentally light his beard on fire whenever he got nervous and we were always helping him put it out. 

Weird, I know.

So, my head is always filled with this. Stories and fantasies and food and books. And it used to be filled with practical things too. Slowly but surely, those things are fading away. For example, I could not, for the life of me, remember if front wheel drive or rear wheel drive was better in snow. I live in Ohio. We get snow. I knew this once. Have bought cars based on these facts. I could not remember. I had to google it when I got home.

I have to write everything down. Often, I lose what I wrote those things down on.

I can never find my keys. Or my sunglasses. Or my hair tie. Or a list of 100 other things.

But, ask me what I put in the soup I made last week and I can tell you every ingredient town to the teaspoon. Ask me what the beef tenderloin at Barcelona tastes like and I can describe it in detail.

My grandmother's quirks drove me crazy as a kid. They still drive me crazy now. But, I see myself becoming more and more like her. I wish I could maintain that left brain thinking. I wish I had a good memory. But, once again, I find myself wishing that I have characteristics I simply do not. Setting myself up for failure.

So, you heard it here first...I think I have the dumb.

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