And you thought YOU were having a bad day.

The Boy: "Short Dog peed on the floor down here."

Erratic: "Probably because it is raining and he wouldn't go out."

The Boy: "Holy shit, that is a lot of pee." (as he is carrying carpet squares outside to be hosed down tomorrow)

Erratic: "MmmHmm. Pee. Yep."

The Boy: "Wait a minute, the whole basement is wet. HOLY SHIT, I JUST LEFT A WET FOOTPRINT IN THE CARPET."

Erratic: "Fuck. Fuck. Fuck." (opening bottle of wine, pouring big girl glass)

The Boy: "IT ISN'T JUST DRIPPING ANYMORE."

Erratic: "Yep, that is definitely a stream of water." (chugging wine)

The Boy: "We need to move this book case. Can you help me?"

Erratic: "No, no, NO. STOP. MOVING. THE. BOOK. CASE."

Bookcase collapses into approximately 7 million pieces, strewing books everywhere. I walk upstairs and take a shot of Jack.

Fuck. My. Life.