A tribute.

I had to put Kobi down this morning. Late last night/early this morning he started panting and couldn't move. It turns out he had a form of cancer that was causing bleeding around his heart and in his abdomen. Nothing could be done.

 He was the best dog in the world. I got him when I was 18 and had just been in Ohio for a year. I remember the day I got him, sitting in the back seat of Krackle's car holding him the whole way home. I didn't have the heart to make him sleep in the closet bed I made him, so he slept with us the first night. I watched as he outgrew crate after crate, collar after collar. The 20 lb dog I was promised at the shelter turned into a 70 lb best friend.

 He was an awful puppy. Destroyed everything in his path. I wish I had electronic puppy pictures of him. He was pretty damn cute.

 He has been with me through countless boyfriends, roommates, apartments, cars, jobs, everything. 11 years of memories.

 He always had the saddest eyes, even though he was the happiest dog in the world. He would look at you and you would cave and give him anything and everything he wanted. How could you resist those eyes?

 THE EYES.

 Oh, the eyes.

 As he got older, he started to slow down. He slept all day, mostly under a blanket of some sort. He got diagnosed with arthritis in his spine and had trouble jumping up and down, unless of course there was an invite to crawl under the covers in bed.

 He never lost his love for life. At times, he acted just like a puppy. Especially on walks and when presented with rawhide.

 After he was done playing, it always looked like he was smiling.

 When the vet came in and told us that he was in pain, the decision was the easiest decision I have ever made, though it was also the hardest thing I have ever done. We chose to be present and he looked right into my eyes through the whole thing. After he took his last breath, I closed his eyes and cried, just holding him. As soon as he started to get cold, I couldn't do it anymore and we left. I asked to get his ashes and I plan to sprinkle them at some of his favorite spots.

Goodbye, buddy. You are irreplaceable and will always be in my heart.