Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Satan sent me a windshield wiper.

Here is how my evening was supposed to go:

Drive home from work, uneventfully.

Stop at the store to pick up stuff for dinner and beer.

Get gas.

Go home and work out.

Organize shoes in closet.

Cook dinner.

Eat dinner.

Drink beer.

Watch T.V.

Bed.

Here is how my night is actually going:

Drive home from work.

Windshield wiper COMES APART WHILE I AM DRIVING.

Pull over in pouring down rain at some business whose entire staff is leaving at that exact moment to stare at me while I fix windshield wiper.

Continue driving home.

Pull over on side of highway to fix windshield wiper that hates me.

Continue driving home.

Exit highway and pull into gas station to fix windshield wiper again. Try to diagnose problem, but it is raining too hard to see anything but rain.

Continue driving home on back roads to avoid accidentally ramming into the back of a semi-truck.

Pull over on side of road to fix windshield wiper. Tempted to rip windshield wiper from car and beat it on the ground until it shatters into 100 pieces.

Continue driving home. Only use windshield wipers when visibility is zero as to save the remaining life on crappiest windshield wiper ever.

Pull over on side of road to fix windshield wiper sent to earth by Satan. Contemplate if this is payback for all my sinful ways.

Get home. Change out of soaking wet clothes, towel dry hair. Grumble words of animosity under breath while stomping around the house.

Open beer and sit on couch.

Send the boy an email: GET BEER. THOSE NEW WINDSHIELD WIPERS SUCK ASS. OH, GET MORE WINDSHIELD WIPERS.

Exhibit A:

1 comment:

Krackle said...

Hershel had windsheild wipers from Satan as well. I would be driving on the highway and allt he sudden, they would decided to BOTH stop working. However, that was Hershel, who was pretty much falling apart. Your car shouldn't have this problem.

nonetheless, I feel your pain dude.