Tuesday, August 28, 2012

I have met my match

Before you do anything, and I mean anything, please click on this link and read the customer reviews. I am dying laughing right now and I posted it on Facebook, but some of you don't know me in IRL and therefore have not had this experience. You must have this experience.

Today has been all kinds of awkward. Mostly because I am all kinds of awkward. I have a tendency to blurt out really personal things to total strangers. Not personal, like, hey, I just peed and it smelled like asparagus personal. Just things that are too personal for the casual exchange of, say, receptionist at doctors office talking to patient. They had to update my medical records today at the doctors office and asked me if I was allergic to anything. To which I replied olives and awkwardly laughed. Then I said, but not olive oil. And then I felt this thing click in my brain, which we will call the overexplaining gene and I went into a 15 minute story about how I found out I was allergic to olives and how funny it was and OH MY GOD I AM ALLERGIC TO OLIVES. 

I saw it coming. The awkward silence that would follow the too much information vomit of the mouth I was spewing at this poor woman. It was the gyno's office and my vagina is definitely not going to ingest olives. There was ZERO reason for me to tell her this. Yet, here I am, rambling on and on. By the end, I heard crickets chirping in my head and felt my face starting to flush in embarrassment when the ultimate awkward conversation move was pulled. 

After I finish rambling, she says to me, "My car changed from kilometers to miles and I can't figure out how to change it back. Has that ever happened to you?" 

I blinked approximately 7 million times and responded, that no, that has never happened to me. She then proceeded to tell me that Google hadn't helped and that she didn't want to take it all the way back to a dealership to fix it. 

I am obviously still stunned and respond that she should just to go any Acura dealership and just ask. Which started a very long tirade about how nobody wants to help anyone anymore without getting paid. 

I politely smiled and sat down to fill out my paperwork. 

Well played, receptionist. Well played.

1 comment:

J o s e y said...


As a receptionist at a medical center, ppl tell me LOTS of weird shit. LOTS. I am taking a book from this page, intentional or not. :)