Please diagnose my anxiety disorder.

My hands smell like bacon and no amount of washing will change that. 

I read this and chuckle at the comment I hear so often, adrenaline junkie. Masochist. Can't I just love food?

I find myself day dreaming about food...making notes in my idea book.

I can't focus on anything, my mind keeps drifting off. I must be tired.

What if the interview goes wrong?

What if it goes right?

Isn't getting everything you want just as terrifying as not getting it?

I get so wrapped up in the what if's, it paralyzes me with fear. I can never just let things happen. I analyze until I drive myself crazy and then I am too scared to move forward because I don't know the outcome. The unknown terrifies me. I have to know what to expect. 

I can't be scared anymore. I deserve to be doing what I love. 

So, no, not an adrenaline junkie. Maybe a masochist. Probably just somebody who really loves food.