I GOT THE JOB, BITCHES!

I will start with the best news of all...I got the job. I start tomorrow. I am ecstatic. And nervous. My new schedule is going to be slightly amazing. I will work Monday through Friday 9:30 am to 2:30 pm at the new job and Sunday through Thursday 4 pm to 12 am. So, you read this right, I have Friday night, all day Saturday, and Sunday mornings off! That is almost two whole days! Days other people have off work! So I can see them! And have friends! And a life! And wheeeeeeee!

I was also informed that at new job, I am expected to have my own dishes on the menu. My. Food. On a restaurant menu. I died. I am dead. I just can't even begin to explain how amazing this will be. Obviously, it will take some time and I will need to get a hang of things. But, my food. On a menu. It is everything.

The last bit of news is more of the "I am going to kill my cat" nature. So. Neil is on prescription food because of his bladder issues. His food regulates the ph in his bladder. He hated the food at first and we had to mix tuna with it. Then we slowly weened him off the tuna. Phase 1, we will call it. Well, Phase 2 is the phase where we stop feeding him 7 million times a day. OK. Four. But, still. We feed him a half a can in the morning, at noon, dinner, and before bed. I am pushing to only feed him twice a day. I am a firm believer that if you withhold food long enough, eventually they bend to your will. I have done this with both my dogs. They eat on a schedule, they eat all their food when it is put in front of them. Well, Short Dog still does. Kobi did. 

Now it's time for the cat. Except, you know, he is secretly Stewie from Family Guy. So, instead of him just eating what he is hungry for, he eats nothing. Nada. Not even a little bit of food. He isn't having it. He wants his fresh food four times a day. And we are being stubborn and not giving in, but he is getting gradually more and more evil. Meowing and staring. Sharpening knives menacingly. You know, the usual.

Sooooooo....if nobody hears from me for a few days, it is distinctly possible I am tied up in the basement being force fed cat food by my cat. He will be eating chips.