Monday, March 28, 2011

Today's Theme: No boundaries.

So, I went to the gyno today. (Sorry all male readers. Deal.) My gyno happens to have music piped into the rooms so that you can listen to some soft rock while waiting to have your vagina violated by uncomfortably cold steel. Today? The song was Seal's "Kiss From a Rose." In case you forgot the lyrics, you can read them here. Let's just say not the best choice of song for your gynecological pleasure. Seriously.

Because of my schedule, I needed to switch birth control because the whole take a pill at the same time of the day thing wasn't really working for me. And all this world needs is a baby erratic running around screaming inappropriate things. Seriously. The world is not ready. The doc suggested that Nuva Ring that you shove in your vag and tada, no babies. I was immediately on board because this means I only have to deal with actively preventing babies once a month instead of everyday. 

She gave me samples and said to let her know how it goes. 

I get home and tell the boy about the new birth control. Yeah, you can guess where this is going.

"Do I get to watch you put it in?"

"No"

"Can I put it in for you?"

"No"

"Will I feel it when we have sex?"

"No"

As I get out the pamphlet to read the instructions..."Ooh, are there pictures?"

"We are not making a birth control related porn here! You cannot see the pictures!"

"I bet there are instructional videos on YouTube."

Dear. Lord.

5 comments:

Bradshaw said...

This is my favorite post that you've ever written. Ever.

Big Jed said...

He googled instructional videos, didn't he?

Also, my verification word is ovarann.

The Boy said...

No I didn't!! ;-)

My Verification word is "pheewa"

Krackle said...

How could you not mention the fact that the Boy thought I offered to help you put it in??

My verification word is "varant"

Josey said...

Hahaha! Awesome. I was on the NuvaRing for a couple of years. 99 percent loved it...1 percent he felt it, but it was kinda kinky and good anyway :)