Anybody know how to keep hydrangeas alive?

Sometimes I find it really hard to write a post and then I go back and read all your comments and remember why I do this. So, thank you. 

On with the randomness.

Let's summarize the events of the past month of the new house. In no particular order.

Water main broke going into the house, causing water to literally shoot across the basement. City couldn't find water shut off. 

Tree falls on the house.

Said tree knocks off the chimney.

House FILLS WITH DUST THAT IS UNDUSTABLE OMG THE DUST.

We get city recycling! Woo!

Grandmother/ mothers need to use AOL; infects laptop with death. Laptop crashes. Oh, the crashing.

Work drives into a flaming building while on fire in order to put out the flames. 

I hit my knee REALLY HARD on the wall. This is sort of not that important, but, fuck that bruise won't go away.

Ohio exchanges places with the sun. I sweat out a kidney.

In summary...MAKE THIS MOTHER FUCKING SUMMER GO FUCKING DIE. NOW. 

A friend of mine posted a link on my facebook wall of a newspaper article about a house that burned down in my neighborhood. His comment was something along of the lines of "I assume this was your house."

To be honest, if I hadn't been sitting in my house when I saw the article, I would have assumed the same. 

I should be positive. Fucking rainbows and unicorns and shit.

And I am. I look forward to coming home everyday and watering the flowers on the front porch. I am so obsessed with my dining room table, I catch myself ogling it as if it was a Magic Mike commercial.

Which, just, can we talk about that? It's about damn time we got our Striptease. Right? I haven't seen it yet, but I am pretty sure my lady parts are going to explode. Sorry. I just realized I actually typed that. I am also going to leave it. 

But, I love this house, our house. It makes me ridiculously happy and it is slowly but surely feeling like my home. I am not there yet. But, I will get there. It feels good to be here. I love it here.

If shit could stop going wrong, though, that would be great. 

So, I am here. With a temperamental laptop and a dusty house and a well sealed off chimney. And hydrangeas I am struggling to keep alive because I am a terrible gardener and city recycling.

How are all of you?