Thursday, July 19, 2012

Some may say spider...I say homicidal bear.


  1. There is a spider on my ceiling and the cat won't stop meowing and I can't kill it because I am TERRIFIED of spiders. Yes, this is an irrational fear and yes I am a rational person, but I can't help it. I don't want to be scared of spiders, but I am. And I am also now scared of my dining room.
  2. We are getting the estimates rolling in for the repair to the house from when the tree fell on it. It's going to be around $30k. Yes, you read that right. They have to completely rebuild our chimney from the basement up. I have never been happier to have homeowners insurance.
  3. I am doing the color run with Big Jed on Saturday and I am so excited!!! I think that this is going to be so much fun and hope it becomes a tradition! I am a little scared that I am not going to be able to get the color out of my hair/skin/clothes, but not worried enough not to do it!
  4. It's official...I have flip flop tan lines. This makes me very happy because it means I have been outside doing things instead of inside blogging and drinking beer. OK, I have been doing both. But, I am quite proud of my flip flop tan lines.
  5. I forgot about twitter again. I think I am just not very good at random thoughts. I like reading other people's, but mine always seem so mundane. Like, hey, guys, I am watering my flowers and drinking a beer. You can find me doing this every single day at about 5:15. Nobody cares. Maybe I have become dull? Not sure. I REALLY want to be into twitter. I just fail at it.
  6. We have this new girl at work that is from Southern California and talks exactly like you would expect someone from Southern California to talk. She calls people bro. And she NEVER. STOPS. TALKING. This is my favorite thing about working with all guys. We are all quiet. We talk and joke around, but when it is busy in our kitchen, you hear NOTHING except calls back and forth to get the food out. It's perfection. When she is there, relentless chatter about her ex girlfriend or how she wants to paint boobs on her station and play with them when no one is there. WHY DID SHE TELL ME THAT? Her very next sentence? "My dad told me today that he was prepared to die." Seriously. It is just one random thought after the other and by the time I leave, my ears are bleeding and I am having to take deep breaths so I don't start screaming shut up at her until she cries. 
  7. Summer TV sucks and 50 Shades of Gray has me on this trashy romance novel kick. I have never in my life read anything like these books until 50 Shades happened. Then I was just kind of curious because, well, there is nothing wrong with a little girl porn. I have discovered the plot of every single trashy romance novel: Damaged/Insecure woman falls in love with very hot, very successful, very rich, very well endowed man, has unrealistic animal sex, always come at the same time, man claims woman as "mine," she sees nothing wrong with this assertion, happily every after. I think I am officially over this kick. Back to dragons and elves. (I really have read books of value. I just prefer easy reads on a day to day basis. I read like 4 books a week.)
  8. I am getting a RIDICULOUS amount of spam since I took off that validation thingy. So, I am going to not allow anonymous comments anymore. I know I have IRL friends that post anonymously and I am sorry, but you are just going to have to suck it up and get a google logon. Today I got a you tube video of a guy jerking off. That was sort of my line.
  9. We are contemplating a beer-lympics this fall. I am very excited about this, also scared to play drinking games for an entire day. Sometimes I seem to forget that I am THIRTY YEARS OLD. Not 21. There will definitely be a large amount of food consumed to offset the alcohol.
  10. Upon further investigation, it was a HUGE FUCKING SPIDER. And I couldn't walk under it because then it would fall on me and that is my own personal Arachnophobia, a movie I refuse to watch. So, I stood across the room with my dyson and vacuumed it up. I am resourceful. And a total fucking pussy.

2 comments:

J o s e y said...

I don't have word verification on, and I get maybe 1 spam comment every six months. I do not allow anon comments though, so hopefully that will fix your problem as well.

My next door neighbor is totally doing Beer-Olympics in the next month. I am SO excited. :)

Rachael Heiner said...

Today I too off my sandals and had a strange shoe tan. I have a crazy darker diamond in the middle of each foot. I was so happy!