Pop Quiz: Is it me or the boy whose cheese slid off their cracker?

Hey honey, we could buy a bunker instead of a house.

We are not, under any circumstances, becoming doomsday preppers.

We could get a really nice bunker for the same price as a house.

Where would we live?

In the bunker.

Where would we build the bunker?

On Big Jed's property. She would never notice. Except for the cars. And an occasional short dog sighting.

Yes, clearly, she would think nothing of the cars.

And of us digging a giant hole on her property.

It's 600 square feet.

We would kill each other if confined to 600 square feet just the two of us.

It's better than dying in the nuclear war.

What nuclear war?

Well, you never know. 

So, you want to live in the bunker for the rest of our lives, just the two of us, never interacting with anyone?

We would have nuclear suits.

Well, clearly.