Drunken Quotes with Tini

"Did I just ask questions about your "TMI" story? You know you are good friends when you ask questions. Also I may have boundary issues." 

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"Weight loss is like puberty, it changes the way you masturbate."

"YOU MIGHT SECRETLY BE RON JEREMY."

"Talk to me in six months. I may be Ron Jeremy in six months."

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"I need a shot and a beer."

"I was going to make my drink first."

"So, it's all about you now?"

"Yes."

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"I don't feel like a lot of people put you on the pedestal I put you on."

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"He is your friend. Not the keeper of your penis."

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"Why am I a gay man?"

"I need you to be a gay man."

"But, I am not a man!"

"It doesn't matter. I need you to be a gay man."

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"I remember when my mom was 4'11". Wait, she's still 4'11".