10 Things You Should Know About Orlando

1. The state motto is actually "Turn right, then make a u-turn"
2. The shower is set to scalding or cold. You might think, hey, this is probably just unique to you. It's not. 
3. There are bugs everywhere. And some of them look like two bugs, but they're not. Maybe. I can't bring myself to google it.
4. The oranges are as delicious as you would think they are.
5. All of the stoplights last approximately eternity. 
6. Nobody actually lives here, it is just tourists. 
7. There are gecko's everywhere. And they are fearless and dart out in front of you and scare the shit out of you, even though you love Lizards.
8. You can accidentally not pay the toll. Then your rental company will charge you a bazillion dollars for not paying the toll. They will also give you dirty, judgy looks. Probably.
9. The Supermarket is not, in fact, Super. Unless you are buying crack. Or forties.
10. No matter what the weather forecast says, it will be sunny and hot. Rain in the forecast? Won't happen. Unless there is a hurricane. I hear those bring rain.