Monday, September 27, 2010

Strange 10 Minutes

I had a very strange 10 minutes today. I mean, most of my minutes are strange because it is me and that shit happens, but today was extra strange.

I was almost out of gas because I live in my car and put gas in it more times in a week than I care to think about. So, I went to this little gas station in a bad neighborhood by school. I pulled up to the pump and popped the trunk instead of the gas cap because I am a giant dumb ass. As I am pumping gas and absorbing the horror that are gas stations in this neighborhood, out walk two guys in the nicest suits I have ever seen. OK, maybe not ever, but they were not from Men's Warehouse. They had very close cut hair and looked very intense. Not in a gangster way, in a way that they carried themselves with confidence and authority. So, they get in their Ford Focus (um, what?) and pull out of the parking spot. They then drive about 30 feet, park, get out binoculars and start watching a house that backed up to the gas station. In plain sight. Not even trying to hide what they were doing.

As I am staring at them, the gas pump clicks off. I look and it only put 10 gallons into my 12 gallon tank. I try to pump again, it is not having it. It will not fill my tank. So, I pull it out of the gas tank and go to put it back in and try again, when the pump beeps at me. I look over and it has spit out my receipt and says "thank you for shopping with us." Clearly the gas pump was telling me I was done.

THEN I call Big Jed to tell her this, because I always call her and tell her the weird stories of things that happen to me. The phone goes straight to voice mail and halfway through her greeting, it just says "press 1 to approve this message or 4 to delete and re-record." I was like, um, what? I didn't leave a message yet. So, I deleted and left her a message that I am hoping is now not her greeting. 

Finally, there was a guy on the highway going like 25 mph with his hazards on. I figured he was having car trouble. I go to pass the car, and you could not even see in the car. It was full of smoke. I am assuming of the pot variety. Or he was on fire. Definitely one of the two.

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