Monday, July 26, 2010

Girl, I must warn you. I sense something strange in my mind.

Once upon a time in a land far far away, this girl had a blog. And she loved the blog and the people who read her blog with all her heart. She thought about them often, though they never knew this because this girl? This girl was an ass hole who ignored the Internet for two weeks. Upon her return, she had over 1,000 unread emails and so many blog entries to read, she immediately shut her laptop and vowed to get through all of her bullshit tomorrow. This cycle continued for several days until the girl realized that nobody even knew if she was alive or dead. So, the girl wrote a mediocre fairy tail in hopes that her Internet friends would forgive her disappearance and laugh at her cleverness. Then the girl made a list of the top 10 reasons she disappeared from the Internet because the girl liked lists and referring to herself in generic third person. The girl really should have no friends.

  1. I have been burning the flesh off of my arms at my new job. I have 6 burns, from the severity of a little red to I probably should have gone to the doctor, but didn't. I also dropped a deep Lexan (think giant Tupperware, non-kitchen folk) on my knee. It looks like someone hit me with a baseball bat.
  2. I have been working to open the new restaurant I work at and am in love with this place and every single person in it, except one. He is a turd burglar who talks down to me and causes me to express rage in a way that is unhealthy. Mostly, just being a gigantic bitch to him and not caring who listens. Not good. Must stop. Working on attitude change.
  3. Attitude change is beer.
  4. I have been hiding from my past. I met a guy at work, we will call him Tremont, who has taken me to every gay bar in the city. Also? He knows this guy. The guy who threw his life away. He also confirmed his HIV status as positive and every other rumor I have heard. The worst part is that Tremont and that old friend are still in the same circle and I fear running into him. More on that later.
  5. Midterms. Enough said.
  6. I have been playing Harry Potter Lego on the Wii. A lot. In fact, if I go another week without blogging, send someone over to take away the Wii. Because I also have Indiana Jones Lego waiting in the wings. My name is Erratic, and I am a Wii Lego addict.
  7. I have not been watching enough TV. My DVR has taken to throwing small, heavy objects at me when I walk by in order to remind me that it exists. Then deleting all my favorite old shows I love. Bastard.
  8. Driving. Holy fuck, I live in my car.
  9. Drinking at gay bars. This is being said twice because, um, it needs to be said twice.
  10. Listening to this new radio station (see #8) called GenX radio that is A-MA-Z-ING. It is all 90's music. Montell Jordan, 4 Non-Blondes, Snoop, Depeche Mode, 2Pac, and BEL BIV DEVOE. Oh, that girl is poison. You can listen online. Do it.


Anonymous said...

GENX is the shiz. I was listening last week and they played Sir mix-alot then busted out Quiet Riot right after it. AWESOME!!!

Bradshaw said...

You're AALLLIIIIIIIVVVEEE!!!! Jesus, woman, you need priorities. Well, except the beer. That is priority.

Krackle said...

I appreciate the post, however I am still feeling neglected.