Sunday, December 6, 2009

Marry me, Mario. You too, Luigi.

I have a confession. Please don't judge me, I can't help it.

I love all things Super Mario Brothers. I have kept a Super Nintendo since, well, I still liked to play dress up. Just to play Super Mario and Yoshi's Island on an old school controller that had a limited number of buttons. When the Wii came out, I was all psh, I don't need that. I have a Super Nintendo! I am old school, bitches. Then I played Wii bowling at my uncle's house and was like, holy fucktastic, this rocks. I slowly got suckered in. Still, though, it felt like a group thing to me. Not something I would sit and do by myself.

I spent the entire day studying for my ServSafe exam, but since I am one of those people who can't sit in silence, the ABC Family Harry Potter marathon was on in the background. My life changed forever when a commercial came on for the new Super Mario Brothers Wii.

I heard the music. You know the music.

I looked up, curious. I saw them. That family playing simultaneously. A Mario, A Luigi, Two Toadstools. Working together to conquer evil and safe the Princess.

I grabbed my phone and sent a message to the boy.

"OMG. We need Super Mario Brothers for the Wii. Like, right now."

Everything seemed to fall in place as if it was destiny. He brought the game home. (Along with some Burt's Bee's because he accidentally washed mine and I am addicted to the shit.)

It took me 15 minutes to figure out that you pressed 2 to pick a level. And then, my life changed forever. HOLY FUCKING SHIT THIS GAME IS AWESOME. I see an intervention in my future. One day, you will all arrive at my house and I will be dirty and underfed and likely drunk. You will have to pry the controller out of my hand as I scream "THE PRINCESS, SAVE THE PRINCESS." I will throw myself on the floor, sobbing for humanity. I will end up in a padded room jumping around as if killing mushrooms and turtles. Getting big. FIREBALLS. The spinny mushroom, where I just fly away....sigh.

What is really awesome is that both the boy and I can play at the same time. And bounce off each other's heads. And push each other into canyon's. I CAN HIT HIM WITH FIREBALLS.

Also, Mario and Luigi may be more than friends...the end of the level is a little, well, dirty. I'm just saying.

Best. Night. Ever.

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