Thursday, December 17, 2009

Christmas - Meh

Today has been one of those days where I want to crawl into bed and never ever crawl out.

Everyone handles stress differently and the holidays bring about a ridiculous amount of stress. This is the first year that I have not had stress in a long time, the first year that I have been excited for Christmas. I feel so completely alone in this. Everyone around me seems frazzled and unwilling to participate in my holiday cheer. Not that I am skipping through the streets with mistletoe or anything. Holiday cheer in my world amounts to, well, not screaming "Fuck Christmas" every chance I get.

It just seems sort of lonely. Maybe it is the lack of office Christmas festivities and lunch time shopping sprees since I have been buying Christmas presents and stocking stuffers by myself. But, I don't think I have heard a living soul say the word "Christmas" with anything but disdain more than 4 or 5 times.

Is it stupid that I just want someone to sit and appreciate the Christmas tree with me, despite it's glaringly obvious bald spot I can't stop looking at and am going to fix immediately after I finish this post?

Is it weird that I am excited to go home, for the first time in a year? Is it unreasonable to think that a single member of my family should be excited that I am coming home?

I guess I realize how I seemed to everyone else year after year, when I despised Christmas and wanted nothing more than for it to just pass. It is amazing what a difference it makes when you have time to stop and appreciate the people around you, regardless of if they have the time to stop and appreciate you.

3 comments:

Krackle said...

although I am more stressed this year that I have ever been in past years (Christmas, Birthday, wedding) I too have noticed the lack of "cheer" around me. I don't hink that I have been down on Christmas, but I too, have not been as cheery.

Poo. I am going to try harder.

Bradshaw said...

I LOVE Christmas. I put my tree up on the 1st and already have had a gift exchange, with a second one today. I'm taking a huge road trip to visit family, and have been buying presents at a rate I probably shouldn't but can't help. So see? There's someone who loves it!!

Anonymous said...

Merry Christmas! I want to see the bald spot...