I will kick your ass. In 10 weeks.

I have wanted to take a self defense course for a while now. So, when my friend Nyeski (so weird that I have never mentioned her here) found a groupon for 10 weeks of self defense classes for like $35, we both jumped on it.

The introductory class was tonight. I expected to get an explanation of what to expect, maybe learn some simple things like punching and kicking. Oh boy was I wrong.

The groupon was slightly unclear. Slightly. Nyeski and I walked into a Krav Maga introductory course. Wherein we got our asses kicked. 

Krav Maga is the fighting technique used by the Israeli army. It is definitely self defense. The basic premise is to fight until you can get yourself out of the situation and safe. And they mean fight. There is no fucking around with pepper spray and tazers.

I spent at least 20 minutes mounted over Nyeski (and she me) while we flipped each other off. 

My knuckles look like, well, I got in a fight. I have found 4 bruises so far. BIG bruises. 

I learned how to fight away from under someone. From over someone. How to kick someone so hard that it breaks their pelvis. Or dislocates their hip. I learned how to punch. I had no idea how to punch. I grabbed a total stranger and kneed him repeatedly (into a cushy mat he was holding.)  

I hate violence. That's not what this is. One of the first things he told us was never to use these techniques to start a fight. To never be the cause of violence. Simply to hone what we would instinctively do, so when attacked or in an unsafe situation, we can get away and get safe. 

And you guys, IT WAS SO FUCKING AWESOME. I hate working out. I tolerate running. I tolerate other work out methods. This? This I would do every day. Well, no I wouldn't. Because tomorrow I am fairly certain I will never be able to move again. The groupon included 10 weeks of classes and if I continue to like it as much as I do, I will probably discuss with the boy a way to join permanently. I liked it that much. 

An added bonus was that it was probably the best workout I have had in a really, really long time.

He said to only do what we could and I managed to keep up the entire time, until right at the end, when I quite literally ran out of steam. During the kneeing the total stranger exercise. Who actually asked if I was OK. Which I was. Barely. 

I can't wait until next Thursday. I am kind of dreading tomorrow when all of the soreness comes out and I collapse in a giant puddle of ouch. But, it will be that delicious soreness that means you worked your ass off.