Monday, August 16, 2010

My first almost gay threesome.

Tremont and I usually go out and get all crazy-like on Friday nights. Last Friday, we got out of work around midnight and hit up our Friday night bar. It is a seedy gay bar in a not so great neighborhood that has Jack and Coke's for $3. That is not a typo. These drinks are also three quarters jack and a quarter coke. My bar tab is usually $12. The bar itself is not that cool, the drink prices are.

We are sitting there enjoying our after work drink, too tired to even form conversation. There is a ridiculously drunk guy (DG) dancing around and his calm, Jim Gaffigan look-a-like partner. Jim asks us if we are servers, to which we reply no, we are...chefs? And then we both laugh and say we are line cooks. Jim immediately comes over and starts asking questions. Where do we work? How long have we been in culinary school? We are pleasantly talking and I decide to go inside and get another round. DG joins me and immediately tells me that I am hot and he wants to talk about my vagina.

In hindsight, this should have been a warning sign. But, Jim worked at a well-known restaurant and knew a lot of influential people. I wanted, if nothing else, to hear some stories and maybe one day, he would drop my name to someone important. Tremont must have had the same idea, because he took over the conversation and I ended up sitting there with DG. He was a nice enough guy, a prosecutor, and totally shit faced.

At last call, DG and Jim invited us over for some wine. I did not want to go, but Tremont convinced me. Plus, they had kittens, and really? I wanted to play with the kittens. So, we went over there and it immediately was obvious that I was the fourth wheel in what was developing into a threesome. I hid in the bathroom. I immersed myself in the kittens. DG was still kind of talking to me, but was obviously also concerned about the deep conversation that Tremont and Jim were involved in.

Then, in a drunken stupor, DG declares that they should just fuck and get it over with, which prompts an awkward fight and DG screams at Jim, "You stuck me talking to this fucking bitch all night." Tremont immediately came to my defense and we high-tailed it out of there.

Jim called later to make sure that we made it home and I could not even decipher words amongst the slurring.

It was by far the most awkward night of my life. It was also my first late night, industry "hook-up," which I have been told I will have many more of. Let's just hope there is less gay threesome action and more networking and meeting new friends.

3 comments:

Josey said...

This had my dying laughing at work. What a scene... LOL

Krackle said...

um...... awesome?

Bradshaw said...

This. Is. Amazing. Love it.