Wednesday, June 16, 2010

This whole situation makes me want to drink and swear.

I am not a parent, nor do I believe I am qualified to criticize how people parent their children. I am not dealing with the child here and do not know the circumstances that have caused this person to be the way that they are. I am writing this out of both frustration and pity.

I go to school with a girl, we'll call her cupcake, that is completely incapable of thinking for herself or taking care of herself in general. She will be 21 in October. I will give examples.
We were at a restaurant for lunch and she didn't leave a tip. When I confronted her about this, she simply stated that they only gave her a five dollar bill back. I pointed out to her that seconds later she had been complaining about all the change in her pocket. She was visibly irritated that I brought this up and repeatedly said she didn't understand why she needed to leave a tip. This was not someone who didn't believe that waitresses deserved being tipped. She literally did not know or understand that this was something done in our society.

We have to clean our kitchens after every class so that the next class does not have to cook in our filth. The ONLY thing she has ever done is dry and put away dishes. A fellow classmate confronted her about this and asked her to mop. She started crying and begged one of the other guys to do it because she was having a bad day and didn't know how to mop. MOP.

She pretty much develops a crush on anyone who will talk to her. Man or woman. I have asked her repeatedly (especially when she liked one of our female classmates) what attracts her to these people and she always states that they are nice to her. If we try to talk to her about sex, she blushes and whines until we stop. I don't know how much justice I am giving this. I truly do not believe that she understands what sex is, how people have it, what physical attraction is, etc. One of the crushes she got, she confessed to this person because he continued to flirt with her, even after we told him it was cruel to continue this way. He finally ended it by telling her that he didn't want to date her because if he fucked the shit out of her, it would be awkward the next day. She thought he was being mean and snapping at her. I was like, no, he is saying if you two had sex, it would be awkward and you have to see each other everyday. She was like, well, that is just mean. I stared at her, gaping, for, like, ever.

She gets visibly upset when you joke around with her, as if she doesn't understand. She flinches every time I say fuck. Which, you know, is a lot. I got her to say fuck once, and she blushed and ran away after she did it.

She is obsessed with Twilight and Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber and ABC Family and throws end of term pool parties. POOL. PARTIES. With no alcohol. She has never touched alcohol.

She doesn't have her driver's license because she can't figure out how to pass the maneuverability part of the test.

She has a learning disability that she uses as a crutch to get sympathy from people.

She is incapable of making a single decision for herself. I mean, it cripples her.

Here is my thing. OK, her parents raised a good little catholic girl, I will give them that. But, they also raised someone who is completely incapable of making it on their own. She claims to want to be a baker, so I thought I would see a difference in bakeshop. Nothing. Nada. She decorated a cake that looked like a smurf vomited. She follows everyone around asking what she should do and was less competent as a baker than as a cook. Which, just, wow.

At what point does a parent look back and go, fuck. I have royally screwed this kid up. I mean, I cannot see a way that she will ever make it anywhere. I have worked a variety of jobs and I do not believe she is capable of any of them. And not because of the learning disability, which she refuses to define. Because, I don't see that ever, except maybe with math and spelling.

She reminds of a 12 year old forced into a 20 year old body. And we all are so nice to her and try so hard to help her, but it is frustrating. Beyond frustrating. How do you get here? I mean, how does cupcake get through her day to day life? She has never had a job. When she graduated high school, I have no idea what she did with those two years. She still goes to all the high school football games.

I just, I don't know. I know I am jaded and angry and inappropriate and many other things, but are there other adults out there like this? I mean, do any of you know anyone like this? How do they make it in life? Does someone just eventually sit them down and be like, look, here's some porn, let's talk in an hour? Or maybe just slap them silly?


Please send help. I am trapped in "The Baby-Sitter's Club." Except cleaner and with less adventure.

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