This Weekend

I am not sure I can tell the whole story of this weekend yet. The bridal shower went very well and the bachelorette party was awesome, until it ended with an ambulance and my sister in the hospital. She disagreed in the calling of the ambulance (she is diabetic and was vomiting) because she was drunk and insolent. And just mean. It was so much fun until then. So much fun.

Everyone said I did the right thing. Everyone said she needs to learn to take care of herself and that she did this. She made the choice to drink too much. She made the choice to not stop until she was vomiting ALL. OVER. THE. BAR. She made the choice to say some really really horrible things to me, my mother, and all of her friends.

I can't sleep because all I can think about is Saturday night. I feel like I ruined her day, her very important day. And I am just so hurt by the things she said and the way she behaved. I don't want to talk about it because I just lose it. I start crying and I experience it all over again.

I don't know what to do next. I will not call her. I will not just let her get away with it this time because we have always let her act like this. Because she is sick and she had a hard childhood and blah blah blah. I have spent 26 years just letting her hurt me over and over and over and not saying a word. My mom is taking the same stance, because she was much nastier to my mom than to me.

The paramedics said I made the right choice and THEY made the decision to take her to the ER. The ER doctor said that when a diabetic starts vomiting, it is serious. Period. And that nobody with this disease should ever drink to the point she had drank too.

I will show up at her wedding and I will make a speech and I will smile and be pleasant. But I will not just forgive. I can't. Not this time.