Sunday, April 25, 2010

People who should be forced to grocery shop online.

1. The lady with the 6 screaming children who is not even TRYING to control them as they pick things up off the shelves and throw them on the ground.

2. The woman who HAS to save that extra two cents on a gallon of milk, even though it is taking every single clerk in the store to get the coupon to work and I JUST WANT SOMEONE TO TELL THE FUCKING MACHINE I AM 21 SO I CAN LEAVE.

3. The man who is clearly only there to look at women inappropriately.

4. The woman who brought exactly $20.01 and is going to keep adding and removing things until her bill totals exactly $20.01.

5. The couple who decided, hey, why make out on the couch when we can just make out in the aisles of the grocery store.

6. The woman who hit me with her cart not once, but twice, while having conversations with an infant that obviously did not yet understand language. Little Timmy does not need you to point out all the colors on the soup cans.

7. The dude on the motorized cart. Not because he couldn't walk, but because he is just that lazy. Seriously. Order them online. Save us all from having to hate you and then hate ourselves for hating you.

8. The woman who spent all day getting dressed for the grocery store. Seriously. Heels are only appropriate when stopping in for a bottle of wine or beer on the way over to a friend's house.

9. The man who would not stop asking me questions about produce. Seriously. In and out. That is how grocery shopping works.

10. Me. Who is clearly to crabby to be allowed in public. Ever.


Anonymous said...

Seriously, did you have a bad day or something? The weird thing is I can picture your profound crabbiness in all of these shopping experiences. BTW, you have the wrong "to" in #10. I am now the grammar nazi!

Erratic said...


Also, you should really stop posting anonymously.

I actually had a decent day...except at the grocery store.