Annoying post about not posting. Ugh.

I feel like this one time there was this girl who had a blog about how crazy she was and then she stopped writing on it because her life got EVEN CRAZIER and then nobody loved her. That last part may be a tad dramatic. 

I'm sorry. I know what it's like to have a blog you read all the time just stop posting. You wait for the dreaded, this is the end post. THIS IS NOT THE END. I REPEAT. NOT THE END.

I am just busy. Summer is always like that for me. All winter, I sit around with my finger up my ass and then boom, summer. I am never home. I am always at work. When I am at home, all I want to do is sit in my new living room and read. I don't know why this is. 

Oh, wait, yes I do. BECAUSE WORK IS 9 BAZILLION DEGREES AND MY LIVING ROOM HAS A CEILING FAN AND AIR CONDITIONER.

I have lost 4 lbs in a week. It is my summer diet plan. I call it, sweat your ass off. Literally! 

I have no ass. More like sweat your fat roll off. Literally!

Or maybe sweat off a boob.

This post is getting out of control. The moral of the story is that I am back.  And as soon as I can get the boy to be home at the same time that I am, he will show me how to upload that video to my blog and you can all see the new house. And I will post more. Because hilarious things are still happening all around me. Mostly to me. But, sometimes just around me.

Like, today, one of my coworkers honked at another one of my coworkers and it scared her so bad that she fell off a step. Onto the ground. And this may not sound that funny, but we were all laughing so hard it hurt. Including the coworker that fell. Because who just falls off a step at the sound of a car horn? I am cracking up typing this.

And I saw a girl walk into a gay bar wearing a shirt that said "I swallow."

And I super promise that this will be the last post about me not posting. Because, that is just annoying. 

And my grandmother is coming in town in a week, so I will have TONS of stories when that happens.