Wednesday, November 9, 2011

I talk about vagina's too much.

This week is going to kill me. 12 hour days of getting my ass handed to me, or as my kitchen crew prefers to call it, bending over and taking it in the ass with no lube. Sorry, guys. Kitchens are crass. Today's theme was seeing how many baby raping jokes they could make before I snapped and went off. The answer, in case you are wondering, is they never made me snap. I did, however, lose all faith in humanity halfway through the first joke.

I am getting off track here. I started this with a point...

The culinary field is primarily male. In fact, I am the only woman who works in our kitchen. Well, there is this one girl who works like 10 hours a week, but whatever. I don't count her because I never see her.

Our pastry chef is also a woman. And she frequently says things to me like "us women have to stick together" and "it's a man's world in the kitchen, so we have to have each others backs."

Here's the thing. No. No I don't. I have her back because I respect her. Because she works her ass off and is really, really fucking good at what she does. 

I am also white. So, how fucked would it be for me to be like, hey, other white people, we have to stick together? 

Answer: THAT IS COMPLETELY FUCKED.

I have been asked at every single job interview I have had if I can "handle it." Do you think men get asked this? Nope. They sure don't. "Is the language going to bother you?" FUCK NO. And never ask me that again.

You know what is not going to change it? Us women folk sticking together. It's going to change by me showing up every single day and blowing those mother fuckers out of the water. By working twice as hard, being twice as good. Eventually, they will stop being surprised when I make good food. Eventually, they will not ask if I can handle something. 

Today, I was the only person in the kitchen who knew how to make polenta. One of the sous chef's mumbled under his breath how it pissed him off that I was a better cook than him. Fuck yes I am. When you are at home playing whatever new video game is out, I am reading cook books and making food. 

I have his back. I have my entire team's back. 

But, I am sure as fuck not going to have your back just because we both have a vagina. I will, however, ask you for a tampon if I forgot one. THAT is a reason to have vagina camaraderie. 

4 comments:

Big Jed said...

That's why you're going to be Top Chef one day!

Oak said...

I, too, work in a completely male chauvinist dominated industry. Its great *sarcasm*. I had an interview yesterday and just nipped the issue in the bud by saying "It takes a special woman to work in this industry" end scene. I decided not to expand on what exactly I meant by "special" but pretty much I meant one that says fuck a lot and can laugh and smile in some douche's face while putting pins in his voodoo doll later.

Josey said...

Kind of off topic, but my husband asked me last night whey I have a tampon on my purse when I'm 8 months pregnant. I told him it's b/c there's always a friend that needs one in a pinch, so I figured I'd keep one in there just in case. Is that weird?

Agreed about the kitchen thing. I'm glad you're kick ass at your job.

Erratic said...

One of the chef's I work with told me I popped his "lady" cherry - I was the first woman he ever worked with. I asked him what he thought...and he said, well, YOU'RE bad ass, but I still think I would prefer an all male kitchen. And you. You're like a guy, so you can stay.

I just laughed and decided not to think about what he said too much for fear I would get offended.