Accidentally Inappropriate

I have a tendency to be accidentally inappropriate. I come from a family where no subject is taboo and no word has not been uttered by someone at some point in time. In fact, I was watching football with my father the other day and discussing how my new favorite insult was douche canoe. Then my step mother proceeded to tell me some things about my father that will require at least a month of therapy. I will let you use your imagination on that one. There are some things I just will not share with the Internet.

I bought my condo a little over 7 years ago. It was shortly after I was fired for the first and only time in my life. I lived here for several months when I saw the woman who had fired me walking her cocker spaniel with her girlfriend. I hid behind the car, watching where she was going and hoping she was just on a really long walk. Nope. She walks into the condo TWO DOORS DOWN FROM ME. So, for the past 7 years I have lived two doors down from my old boss. We have never spoken, although I did jump her girlfriends car one morning.

Last week I was driving home and decided to stop at the mailbox. It was a nice day out and all my windows were down. I left my car running while I got out to get the mail. My old boss/current neighbor pulls up next to me and gets out to get her mail as well. I smile at her, when all of a sudden, the song switches in my car. I realize what song it is, but am waiting for her to get her mail before I can get mine. I can't run back to my car and turn it down and get back out. That would just look weird. So, I just let it play out, hoping that she gets back in her car before the chorus starts. She didn't.

She did, however, stare in both shock and horror as the chorus played.

You come around when you find me faithless

You come around when you find me faceless

Fuck me like you hate me

(dig it up and tear it down)

Dig it up and whore me out

Fuck you like you hate me

(dig it up and tear it down)

I love the sound when you come undone.

She very quickly got back in her car and drove away. I laughed so hard I cried.