Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Talk in my good ear, son. Granny can't hear.

I have two ear infections. Yes, that is correct two. Because heaven for bid I just have one ear that is in excruciating pain. Nope, I have two. The right ear has cleared up almost completely, but the left ear keeps getting worse. This morning I woke up and could not hear out of it at all. I am still on antibiotics, so not panicking too much, but, you know, I kind of need that ear.

In return for taking care of me the past five days, I promised the boy a meal of cheese. No man, woman, or child loves cheese more than he. I decided to make lasagna and grilled garlic bread with mozzarella. Sticking with my organic diet, I only shop at Trader Joe's (or local farmers markets) so I embarked on the 20 minute drive.

I arrive at Trader Joe's and realize, holy crap, I can't hear. I am running into people because I don't realize that they are right next to me. A few times someone was talking to me and I had no idea until I turned and saw them looking at me and their lips moving. When I went to check out, I started bagging my groceries while the kid was scanning. About 2 minutes in I look up and he is looking at me with a strange look on this face. The following conversation took place:

Clerk: Are you OK?

Erratic: (confused) Yes, why?

Clerk: I have been talking to you.

Erratic: (laughing) Oh, you are standing on my left side. I have an ear infection and cannot hear out of that ear at all. Sorry.

Clerk: What? I can barely hear you, you are practically whispering.

Erratic: (really laughing now) I guess I am overcompensating because I can't tell how loud I am.

Clerk: Ma'am, now you are shouting.

So...the lesson of the day not leave the house with an ear infection unless you have someone with you. Or don't care that there is a clerk at Trader Joe's calling local mental hospitals to see if anyone has escaped and warning them that she bought a case of wine.

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