Monday, October 26, 2009

Official Culinary Student

I am not sure how many of you that read this like to cook, but I have been counting down the days until I received this:

When they passed out our uniforms (pictures coming - you have to see this hat) my head was full of knives, knives. More knives. OMG knives. Where are the knives. GIVE ME MY KNIVES. It has taken every ounce of self control to not go in the kitchen and chop everything in sight. Including my old knives. Because these new super knives - they could do it. THEY ARE THAT AMAZING. I may sleep with them under my pillow. Because that is safe.

When they brought them out I squealed a little. Both of my neighbors looked at me, like, great, we are paired with the crazy girl.

Other than the KNIVES! my day was fairly typical. Syllabus, meet your chef's, a bunch of confused "freshmen" wandering around looking lost...ahem...I was so totally lost. I met the people I am going to be studying with for the next 20 months and, well, meh. That really is just the best word. There were some really nice people, do not get me wrong. Most of the class, however, fell into the genre of this kid:

We are sitting in the sanitation and kitchen design class and it is 11:30 am. The class starts at 10:40. This kid, obviously on something, walks in and sits down.

Chef: Sir, can I help you?

Kid: I am here for the 10:40 class. I am early.

Chef: This is the 10:40 class and you are not early.

Kid: (blank stare)

Chef: It is 11:30. This class is almost over.

Kid: I think the time change screwed me up.

Chef: The time change hasn't happened yet.

Kid: (blank stare)

Chef: Please stay after class.

We were all laughing so hard, I, for one, had tears running down my face. In kitchen lab, when we all had to introduce ourselves again, he introduced himself as the kid who walked in late and got ripped a new ass hole by Chef.

Oh, to be 18 again. And apparently really, really stoned.


Krackle said...

I have mixed emotions about your knives. I am happy that you have your knives and that they are awesome, but I fear you chopping me when I come over. Please don't chop me. :)

Erratic said...

I will not chop you! But, I totally want to make something that requires EVERYTHING to be chopped. Just so we can all play. :)

The Boy said...

She may chop me! That is my FEAR! I mean she wants to sleep with them... what about the dogs and myself? ok the dogs are safe... but me, not so much. ;-)

Big Jed said...

I would definitely sleep with the knives. Oh, and name them. That way when you chop someone you can blame in on Julio or something.