10 people I DIDN'T hire

I'm currently hiring a part time dish washer. This seems like a normal everyday thing a kitchen manager would do, right? Ha! Yeah, I thought so too. 

1. The kid who showed up for his job interview in a hoodie, with the hood up. 20 minutes late. And stoned.

2. The guy who filled out the last four digits of his social security number with "51."

3. The woman who is only available Tuesday through Friday 2pm to 7pm. The Craigslist ad clearly stated must be available nights and weekends.

4. The man who answered no to being arrested for more than a minor misdemeanor...but when I ran the background check it pulled up TWELVE domestic violence arrests.

5. The brother of my current dishwasher who,, when asked to text me when he was available for a working interview, simply sent a text that said "schedules tight" and I haven't heard from him since.

6. The person who emailed (when the ad had a link to fill out an online app) their resume which listed three jobs and that's it. Where they worked and how long. Nothing more, nothing less.

7. The other person who emailed me their resume which contained a phone number that was disconnected. 

8. The guy who answered his phone "what up dawg" and refused to give me his birthdate for the background check.

9. The woman who asked if she could split the shifts with her friend because she didn't want to work 10 hours straight.

10. The person who returned my call totally shit faced at 10 am.