The story

When I started at my new job, one of the first things I did was establish a management structure by appointing shift leads. I obviously spent a lot of time with them initially figuring out solutions to the problems that I saw right away. One of those shift leads became a fast friend. We spent a lot of time discussing the issues going on, fixing recipes and even working to come out with a new menu. 

There were feelings there very early on. I sort of refused to acknowledge them. He is the person I confided in when I had a terrible date. I found myself going in to work on my days off, timing it so I was done at the same time he was so we could have our shift drink together. 

He is an artist and offered to paint my apartment. Maybe do some cool graffiti shit in the hallway. He came over to take measurements one day and I invited him to grab a drink at the bar next door. Needless to say, one thing lead to another and just friends we no longer were. 

I freaked out. To the point of almost having a panic attack at work the next day. I was his boss and this was extremely inappropriate. I don't do things like this. I am good at this kind of boundary. We talked and both agreed that these feelings had been there for months; he was actually self aware enough to realize he had them far before that day. I apparently enjoy getting kicked in the face with months worth of feelings all at once. 

We have been seeing each other for about a month. We have not told anyone at work yet, but will probably change that sooner than later. Because this is definitely not a fling. He knows me better than most people in my life and it has been a month. I have never dated anyone I was friends with first and it is quite possibly the only way to go. We were close as friends and being in a relationship magnified that closeness. I can tell him anything and he will still love me. Yes, I said love. We are most definitely in love. I have never experienced anything like this. 

I introduced him to my dad last weekend. We have plans to drive to his hometown so I can meet his parents. Is it fast? Yes. Yes it is. It scares me a little. But then I remember who it is and I am ok with it. Because I have never felt safer with anyone in my entire life. I have never been this content. For the first time I feel like I have a partner, someone always on my side. 

And just to ease everyone's mind, no I can't lose my job. There is no policy against this. And we have already discussed one of us leaving and finding a new job in the company if this gets serious. The owner often dates servers. The hang ups we have are simply because we both want people at work to respect us and are scared that will change if this comes out. 

So there you have it. The story of the new man in my life, who we will call man-pants. Because his term of endearment for me is lady-pants. Or just lady. As I write this, he is asleep on my shoulder. We have a very rare day off together and are cooking dinner for the neighbors. But even if we weren't, we would be together. It's weird for me, to want to spend this much time with someone. And I wouldn't change a thing.