Tuesday, February 4, 2014

I'm Alive!

I am not done with this blog. I swear, I'm not. Several things are going on here. First of all, I haven't had a laptop for months. First the power cord died, then something screwy is going on with the login and I haven't had time to go to the apple store. I also, you know, ended a relationship, moved and started a job in a month. This space didn't feel the safest to talk about what all of that meant to me. Most people who know me well, the boy included, read this blog. And what I have been going through is deeply personal and I didn't want to share it here. It feels like, for the first time, I am on the other side of that. I can talk about it, talk about what has been going on with me. It will just have to be from the app on my phone for the time being. Because I miss being here. I miss writing. I miss all of you. Those of you that have blogs, I have been loyally reading and, as per usual, not commenting. But I've been here, lurking in the shadows and biding my time until I feel whole enough to be back. And back I am. 

The new job is not just going well, it is fantastic. I feel in my element every single day. I am good at this, at running a kitchen. Every job I have ever had in a kitchen my hands have been tied and I wasn't able to make any of the decisions. Now I can and it is awesome. I feel like all of the things I am doing and decisions I  am making are making the restaurant better for my staff and for the customers. It's a good feeling. And for the most part, the staff likes me. That is also a very good feeling. 

I was dating for a while, if you can even call it that. I met some awesome people I didn't click with and some TERRIBLE people. There will be a blog post all on it's own for erratics dating mishaps. My pain is your amusement. I am no longer dating because I met someone. And, yes it is soon and yes that scares me a little, but you guys. He is wonderful. And he deserves his very own post so that is all you get for now. 

The neighborhood family is having some trouble right now, which I will also save for it's own post. But with the addition of some new members, we are still going strong. I love, love my street no matter how crazy it can get. 

The holidays were very hard for me. There was a lot of the family talking behind my back about me being newly single blah blah. It was extremely hurtful and I wish they had come to me and asked rather than jumping to conclusions about where my life is headed. It definitely put some distance between me and everybody which is equally hurtful. I did not need that on top of everything else. I obviously am not going to post the details here, but the comments that got back to me made me question a lot of relationships in the first place. Why do people do that? Kick you when you are down? Isn't it easier, and infinitely kinder, to just say, "I don't know what happened, I am so sorry it did, and if you need to talk I am here." Not one person, aside from my father, asked what happened. And that's fine, I understand not wanting to pry, but then discussing my future behind my back certainly isn't appropriate. Needless to say I picked up every shift I could so I wasn't around and just buried myself in work. 

So that is the summary, I guess. More posts coming soon as promised! It feels good to be back.


J o s e y said...

Welcome back. :) I'm always glad to hear that things have turned around and are going well for you!

Kristen said...

I have missed you!! Glad you are back!

monique said...

oh wow!
welcome back.
so glad that your job is good and your new love is promising.
have a great day/night :)