Monday, November 12, 2012

Rule #1: do not start restaurant week in the ER

Day one went not exactly as planned. I went into work at 7:30 to get ahead of the game and was fine. Felt fine, got a good nights sleep. All was well.

At almost exactly 10:00, the worst pain I had ever felt started in my lower abdomen. I thought it was just really bad cramps so I took some ibuprofen and hoped for the best. By 11:00, I was sweating and hunched over in agony. So, I bit the bullet, apologized profusely to my coworkers and drove myself to the ER. 

I was admitted pretty quickly and hooked up to an IV and given fluids and pain medication. The doctor came in to see me and wanted to do a CT scan. Based on where my pain was, he believed it was appendicitis or kidney stones, even though I did not have pain radiating in my back. At this point I called the boy and said it may be a good idea to head on down here in case I end up in an OR in the next hour or so. He showed up right after I got back from my CT.  (which on a side note, I have never had a CT, only MRI's. CT's win. They so win. They didn't even have to drug me to get me in the machine!)

Shortly after the radiologist came in and basically said I had nothing and good luck pooping. Which I didn't totally understand, but he started the discharge paperwork. Just as I was finished getting dressed, not ass hole unhelpful doctor came in and told me that by process of elimination, I was either really constipated (even though the CT did not show this) or I had an ovarian cyst that burst. He suspected the latter and prescribed me some Vicodin to get through the next few days. He recommended to take Metamucil three times a day just in case, but guessed it was the cyst. 

So, I returned to work because I felt completely fine. Until the pain meds wore off. I immediately called the boy and had him bring me more because I could barely stand up. I have never been in so much pain it caused me to sweat until today. Holy hell.

On my way home from work, I stopped to pick up the prescription for Vicodin and the following conversation happened.

Pharmacist: Ma'am, do you know how many of these to take a day?
Me: I don't really like taking pain medication, so I will only take them as needed. 
Pharmacist: Well, make sure not to take more than eight.
Me: (Blinking rapidly with my mouth hanging open) Um. OK.
Pharmacist: The wording is very unclear. Please don't take more than eight.
Me: I don't even know what to say to that. Um. I won't.
Pharmacist: I need your word that you will not take more than eight.
Me: You have my word. I will take only one at a time.
Pharmacist: Thank you, ma'am. Have a good day.

Just. What? Is there some rash outbreak of idiots who get prescribed pain meds and think that they should just pop the whole prescription at once and hope for the best? It was definitely the weirdest conversation I have ever had with a pharmacist. 

I hope all of you had a better Monday than I did. 

Day two has to get better.

4 comments:

J o s e y said...

As someone who now works in a medical clinic, yes, there are idiots who take 8 at time, and that's b/c they're completely addicted to taking 4-6 at a time, and then think they need even more. UGh.

Burst ovarian cyst? Awful. I've heard they're fucking awful.

monique said...

So how are you suppose to know if it's a cyst or not? YiKes.
I hope it was just "air". :0)

Missy K said...

Newer reader, first comment. :)

Sorry but that ER doc sounded like a d***! I really hope you are feeling better & that pain wasn't something more serious.

Beeker's Mom said...

As someone who is behind on blogs, AND has had an ovarian cyst that bursts..... Both things suck. And the latter makes you VERY sick. But it's short lived. Sorry it happened and maybe one day we will get to talk on the phone again.

Also, this mother fucker won't let me comment as anonymous. So, this is Big Jed. Over and out.