My Fucked Up Romance

Before man-pants and I started dating, he would leave pink post it notes all over my office that just said boner. 

I realize it sounds silly, but it always made me laugh. I would open a notebook or a file and there would just be this pink post it that said boner. 

Our front of house manager frequently drew penises on, well, everything. There are a lot of dick jokes in restaurants. 

Sometime during the first week that we dated, I came home from work to find the bed made and my apartment picked up and a boner note on the bed. I still have it. 

Boner eventually escalated to penis drawings which would be hidden all over whatever station I was working. 

Man-pants last day of work led to this...they were hidden all over everything. The next day, me and a coworker boob bombed his station in retaliation. 

This explanation leads up to one of the sweetest things ever. Our schedules frequently suck ass and we are working opposites. Today, for example, I left for work at 9 am, man-pants was sound asleep. I got off at 5. Man-pants gets off work at 10 pm, about the time that I go to bed because I work at 7 am. One night I was working late and came home to this.

This is the door at the top of the stairs that leads into my apartment. There were little notes like this taped everywhere. 

To the average outsider, we probably look like an insane couple that is kind of mean to each other. But I finally found someone who speaks kitchen. Who gets that a dick drawing is a thousand times sweeter to me than flowers. Who I can be totally blunt and honest with all the time and understands that it isn't mean or spiteful, just honest. 

We are currently living in 450 square feet with a cat and a dog and all of our stuff. 

If you had told me two years ago this was my life, I would have run away screaming. 

I have never been happier.